Wow. Wow wow wow wow wow wow.

I am, once again, so surprised by the quality of Emily Henry’s writing. I finished this book in two days, which is VERY fast for me, and I kept thinking throughout: What the hell is Henry baking into her ingredients that makes her books so bingeable, fun, accessible, but also… SO GOOD?

Because it’s not just that the stories are entertaining. It’s the actual craft. The dialogue. The subtext. The character work. The pacing. The way she can make you fly through a book while still giving you something to actually chew on.

CHEF’S KISS.

And I have to begin with a disclaimer: I generally HATE straight romance. I much prefer reading about queer relationships. BUT Emily Henry somehow writes male characters who don’t make me want to claw my own eyes out. In fact, I even… like them. (!!?)

This is only the second book of hers I’ve read. In my review for Funny Story, I mentioned that I picked her up after actively resisting her for a while. I’ve been slowly trying to unlearn my very lame instinct to avoid things simply because they’re popular. I watched People We Meet on Vacation and loved it as a rom-com, which finally convinced me to give her books a shot.

And now I’m sitting here like: Oh. I get it.

First, the character work in this book is SO good. Not just the main characters, either. Henry gives her side characters actual lives, interests, goals, personalities, and purposes within the story. They never feel like cardboard cutouts whose only job is to move the main plot along. It makes the whole world feel richer.

And her dialogue and banter are fantastic. Nora’s interiority in particular is clever without feeling overly precious, and her humor manages to be self-deprecating without becoming self-loathing. She knows what she likes about herself and isn’t afraid to own it. That balance is surprisingly refreshing.

Which brings me to Nora, because I genuinely think she is one of the most interesting romance FMCs I’ve read in a while.

Henry does a really smart job subverting romance tropes while also having Nora basically call out the tropes herself. From the beginning, Nora is aware of how ridiculous some of the standard romance setups can be, especially when she doesn’t see herself reflected in the typical “ideal” FMC.

That could have gone VERY badly.

It could have so easily turned into a “not like other girls” situation where Nora establishes how much better she is because she doesn’t fit the mold.

But she doesn’t.

Nora is flawed. She has annoying traits. She has false beliefs that made me want to grab her by the shoulders and shake her. But she’s also deeply lovable and, most importantly, she doesn’t need to tear down other women to establish who she is.

She openly likes expensive things. She likes Botox. She likes makeup. She likes wearing heels. She doesn’t apologize for any of it.

But she also doesn’t use those preferences as a weapon against women who don’t like those things.

AND THIS IS KEY.

The same thing applies to her feelings about having children. Nora is very open about not wanting to be a parent and not particularly enjoying the idea of having kids. That feels surprisingly rare in romance, where the FMC’s eventual desire for children can sometimes feel like an inevitable box the story needs to check.

But Nora doesn’t hate children. She absolutely adores her nieces. She loves her sister. She recognizes the parts of motherhood that she knows she personally wouldn’t enjoy, while still having enormous love and respect for the people in her life who have chosen it.

It would have been so easy- and frankly, lazy -- to write Nora as someone who just hates kids and talks shit about people who want them. Instead, Henry gives her a much more nuanced position: This isn't for me, and that doesn't mean it isn't wonderful for someone else.

Honestly, I think that's how we should all approach these things. Don't put down people who don't want kids. Don't put down people who do.

Nora gets to be Nora.

And that is what makes the character work.

The romance itself is also a bit of a slow burn, which worked REALLY well for me. We don't get anything physical beyond making out until past the 65% mark, and somehow I never felt like the story was dragging its feet.

Part of that is because Henry uses the subplots to create actual conflict and keep the story moving.

NO MISCOMMUNICATION TROPE HERE, FOLKS.

These people TALK.

They figure things out. They make mistakes. They don't communicate perfectly, because they're human, but they also don't spend 200 pages refusing to say something incredibly obvious just so the author can manufacture conflict.

Bless.

And the relationship actually feels like it's happening between two people in their 30s. Sometimes you read a romance where the characters are supposedly 32 and you're like, “Wait… are you sure? Because you're behaving like you're 22.”

That wasn't the case here.

Henry is also just REALLY good at chemistry. The chemistry between Nora and Charlie was fantastic, and I genuinely liked Charlie, which is a sentence I almost never get to write about an MMC.

I normally hate straight romance. I fucking loved this.

And honestly, GOD, do I wish Emily Henry would start writing queer romance. I need this exact level of craft, character development, banter, chemistry, emotional depth, and accessibility -- but make everyone a little gayer, please and thank you.

This is also a fantastic slump-breaker. It's easy to read without being shallow. There are deeper themes underneath the romance, and I actually teared up at parts, which I was not expecting.

It's the kind of book where you know the general beats you're going to get, but you're still desperate to find out how the characters are going to get there.

Which, frankly, is the entire magic trick of a great romance.

READ IT. NOW.

You won't regret it.

DNF @ 10%. I'll give you two versions of my review. The first is going to be the simple, spoiler-free reasons why I DNF'd so early. Beneath the line I'm not going to worry about spoilers because I only read the first 5 chapters so I don't even know if you can call them spoilers, but I already know it's going to get ranty.

This is not the worst thing I have ever read and it very well could get better, but I could not make myself keep reading.

Simple Spoiler-Free Reasons I DNF'd

After the first 5 chapters (10%) of the book, each chapter had significant craft based issues. The physical staging/movement of the characters did not make sense - sometimes because they contradicted themselves, others are not physically possible even in a fantasy world. This repeatedly pulled me out of the story. If this happened once, it wouldn't have been a big deal but this happened in almost each of the 5 chapters I read.

There's also a lot of "worldbuilding" dropped mid-scene, right when tension should be building, which kept undercutting any momentum - like facing immediate life threatening danger, but Rubi's narration stops looking at the thing that is about to kill her to detail what another character is wearing, in detail, even though it's dark out and she has dropped her lantern, and that other character is "several yards away" and positioned physically behind her so she can't actually see the details. I say "worldbuilding" because really these were info dumps/lore drops. When the direct information isn't being told from Rubi's perspective, other characters sounded like NPCs, for example "I'm the one who trains you every morning, remember?"

Even though there was a ton of "worldbuilding", I never actually felt like I was learning anything because major concepts would be introduced and immediately dropped. For example, Rubi is reflecting on something at happened at a "Judgment" at the end of one chapter. The next chapter opens to describe what happened in great detail of this event as though we have gone back in time, but actually it's just Rubi remembering the event. Nowhere in the chapter do they actually call it the Judgment or a Judgment, they call it by many other things. After I decided to DNF, I decided to search the book and "Judgment" comes up once more at the 50% mark where is remembering the same thing. It never comes up again in the book.

These issues in the first 5 chapters makes me think the book really needed some more editing rounds before printing. I was given an ARC copy, so maybe these things were caught before final printing.

I read this so you don't have to extended version of why I DNF'd but I'm not going to worry about spoilers since I only made it 5 chapters anyway (an unhinged rant)

This book was compared to Fourth Wing meets Hunger Games, but I haven't read Fourth Wing and don't see the Hunger Games comparison except for maybe the "Judgment" event where it's gladiatorial slaughter of the Azures (the blue haired people, like Rubi) who are refugees from an "Annihilation" event. They are ruled by the Silvers - why? Because they are big and strong and not refugees? idk.

Here is everything I learned about Rubi Morningtail in the first 5 chapters: Rubi is in her early 20s, impoverished, and is a professional ribbon dancer (also dancing may or may not be illegal except the guy who would have arrested her for dancing was at the tavern too but it comes up like 3 chapters later that she could have been arrested for dancing...). Also, she has amnesia. I'm going to spare you from repeating it every other paragraph, but the book REALLY needs you to know she has NO MEMORIES AT ALL, except for the ones that are innate, and the ones that the scent of sandalwood reminds her of, and that she knows that she is definitely an orphan, and the dreams she has, BUT OTHER THAN THAT 0 MEMORIES. Nada. And her only goal in life is to have her memories back. Oh and she lives with the woman who found her after she "woke up" with amnesia on a boat.

Oh and she is HOT. Like hot hot. Like seduced half of the bar just by dancing, including her "friends with benefits" Quinn, who she doesn't want to have benefits with anymore, but she doesn't tell him that because that involves communicating to your friend. No, guys, I don't think you understand HOW HOT SHE IS. She is so hot that a leader of the Silvers (the people oppressing, enslaving, and killing The Azures which are her people) thinks she HAD to be something besides dancing because she she is sexy and her dancing is sexy but he has never been THIS attracted so someone before. What he doesn't know is that she is actually.... ALSO SINGING very quietly so no one can hear her and THATS how she is seducing everyone - magic singing!

That's all we learn in 5 chapters about our protagonist, the rest was "worldbuilding". I'm not being dramatic, I really can't think of anything else.

How do we know that Blake Axefire doesn't know that Rubi, a woman he has already nicknamed Songbird, is actually singing seductively not just dancing seductively and being hot? When he is chasing her on a giant magical tiger after she jumps of a cliff (more on that in a moment) they are having some fun banter and she accidentally slips up and says that she won't dance OR sing again if he doesn't arrest her and that's how he figures out she is singing. Wait - why would he call her Songbird if she was "just" dancing... when I think Songbird I think singing... hold that thought I'll come back to it.

Let's rewind a step right before she jumps off the cliff. Rubi goes out to get firewood and OH NO a giant magical god tiger warrior is outside her door. (Also, the book spells it tyger, but I refuse to do that - I'm already going insane from this book.) So she drops the wood AND HER LANTERN in the middle of the night in the woods. But DON'T WORRY our girl has fucking x-ray vision and she can see all. Okay, back to the tiger who is about to eat her, scary right? She's talking about how big it's teeth are and it's salivating - so she can only take her eyes off the scary tiger for just a second because she hears a males voice... in the middle of the woods... where it's just her hut apparently. AND GUESS WHOOOO It's Blake Axefire... again! I forgot to tell you he also assaulted her after the tavern because it literally doesn't matter besides there was some uncomfortable sexualization to the assault imo. The tldr: he tackled her to the ground AND a tree simultaneously (and here I thought the love triangle was going to between Quinn and Blake Axefire... not planes of existence) to look at her hands and then he let her go, called her Songbird, and left.

Anyway, back to scary killer giant god tiger! That's where Rubi's focus should be!! But now she feels Blake Axefire (yes I will be repeating his full name every time because it's a fucking stupid name, it's better than his title "Ambush Master") power and it. is. revolting. It's like a hurricane. She has to do everything in her power to not run. So here's Rubi - killer tiger who wants to eat her in front of her. Behind her by several yards is Blake Axefire and his terrible magic. She makes sure we know she cannot look away from the scary tiger who IS GOING TO EAT HER ANY SECOND! Ah! Wow some tension! Let's immediately undercut! So what random info dump do we get this time? DEETS ON BLAKE AXEFIRE'S OUTFIT OF COURSE. Is he (again) several yards behind her, in the dark, in a forest, at night, without her lantern, lit only by the moonlight? Yeah. But here is what Rubi is focused on instead of her immediate death, and I quote, "He stepped toward me, silent despite the weight of the midnight armor he now wore in place of his falsely tattered clothing. The silver veins across the onyx steel glinted in the moonlight, and the sigil on his chest--a coiled tyger in a diamond--gleamed. His fine cloak was fastened with a real tyger fang, a symbol of his favored status." Yas girl, clothes are my top priority in life, I feel ya on this. #relatable #OOTD

Anyway, that's when her adopted grandma figure comes out of the house and the tiger attacks her BUT even though she looks old and frail, grandma actually trains Rubi every morning so GRANDMA attacks the giant magical tiger with a broom! She even springs off the tiger's shoulder's over it's head, and I quote, "with agility". But then the tiger swipes grandma and she crunches against a well motionless.

So Rubi decides to get the tiger's attention again and right as it pounces on her SHE THROWS HER RIBBONS AT ITS FEET AND TANGLES IT GIANT PAWS! Giving her "mere seconds" to run. So then she runs to the edge of a cliff and blindly jumps off it into the dark. No. I'm not joking. She literally thinks, and I quote, "I didn't need to see. I knew exactly where the least steep path downward was. I'd mapped it by feel long ago. This part of the land was as familiar to me as my own hut. I loved heights--the higher the better. This was what I did when I woke in the middle of the night, shaking from dreams, though I could only remember the screams and fire. This was where I went when my chest ached from wanting answers I didn't have."*

Rubi, girlie pop, YOU JUST UNLOCKED A NEW MEMORY! You LOVED heights? You do remember things!

Anyway Blake Axefire chases her down on the tiger that he is technically doesn't control but also he is the leader of the tiger warriors or something, idk. So she throws her dagger at the tiger while running AND bantering with Blake Axefire. Mulitalented queen. Oh, where did the dagger come from? GREAT QUESTION because Blake Axefire actually knocked it out of her hands and it went "flying" when he sweep kicked her into the ground/against a tree. But our girl has telekinesis too so that just reappeared magically!

The dagger did... nothing. They catch her and he arrests her because that tiger... not only are all tigers under the King's protection, you actually get killed if you hurt any of them. Oopsies! But it gets WORSE! This isn't any old giant magic tiger. Nope! This is "the only tygress queen capable of breeding at the moment. She is the future of the royal Tyger Warriors. Her value is beyond price." Why is this actual queen out in the middle of a random forest right at the door of Rubi's hut? Great question. She just walked there, idk.

If she is so valuable why did Blake Axefire come alone to get her without any supplies or people to help him because the tigers don't listen to them even though he is the tiger warrior leader? idk.

This is when she accidentally reveals that she's working late, cause she's a singer and he hauls her off to jail or something. Idk cause I stopped there for my sanity.

And that's all 5 chapters!

This book is so predictable I'm willing to publicly state my guesses at 10% in

• Rubi is not an orphan, we are gunna find her parent/parents alive and well. It's gunna be someone you never suspected, maybe a bad guy or someone who looks like a bad guy
• Rubi's amnesia was caused by her parents to protect her when they fled from the annihilation thing. Why? I don't think Rubi is a demi-god so I'm guessing some kind of royalty or her family is important for some reason, maybe a prophecy. They wanted to keep Rubi safe when they fled and they thought it was best for her to not remember who she is. Also guessing once she breaks the amnesia her full powers will come out.
• Rubi and Blake Axefire are fated mates or something. That's how he knew to call her songbird before he knew about her singing magic. This is also why when she was facing the tiger and he showed up (you know the guy who is a leader of the group that oppresses "her people" and she watched him literally slaughter innocent people in the coliseum she couldn't decide if she felt, and I quote, "relieved or more terrified")
• It's a gimme but Blake Axefire is going to have an altruistic reason for why he is on the side of the oppressors because he has to be a good guy at least by the end of the series
• Rubi is not an Azure or at least not a full blooded Azure. Why? Her name is fucking Rubi. And when Blake Axefire slaughtered her people in the coliseum his cloak turned "crimson". I can't explain why my brain made the jump from that point... but it did. They also allude to her having some kind of special connection with her house cat (omg, wait don't actually count this one but it would be hilarious if one of her parents is the house cat hahah) Also her name is fucking Rubi but she is part of the blue haired people idk it just feels like something this book would do. Trust me on this.

Whoever reads this book, let me know how many I got right.

Okay, thanks y'all. I feel better now that this is out of my system!

My thanks to NetGalley and G.P. Putnam's Sons for the complimentary copy. All opinions are my own.

Beautifully written, deeply emotional, and never simplifies what it means to love someone complicated.

Michelle Zauner writes about her relationship with her mother with courageous and nuanced honesty. It's not just love or grief. It's resentment, longing, guilt, tenderness, judgment, understanding, and the constant push and pull of needing someone who could also wound you.

She also writes thoughtfully about being mixed race, belonging, and the loneliness of feeling disconnected from parts of yourself, including through one of the people who helped shape you. I don't share that specific experience, but Zauner explores it with nuance and clarity.

This wasn't a quick read for me. I had to take breaks because it often made me emotional. I'd find myself tearing up during ordinary moments, like walking through grocery stores or doing dishes after dinner.

Zauner captures something deeply specific, but writes it in a way that leaves room for many readers to find meaning in it. If you've ever had a complicated relationship with a parent, or tried to make sense of love, grief, resentment, and inheritance all tangled together, there's things you will take away from this memoir.