Well…. maybe you shouldn’t trust every book your favorite author recommends.

A big part of me is annoyed at this book because of how much potential it had. I really enjoyed the writing, the descriptions of the world around the characters, the fungus and the monsters was so well done and the horror aspect of this story was so well written, the concept of the plot is so interesting and I was genuinely invested in understanding the void more, its story and what lived in its different layers. But then the plot itself was so messy and boring.

Nothing happens that directly impact the plot for like 40% of the book, and when something does happen, it’s wrapped up so quickly that completely deviates from the main plot. What’s even the point of things happening when they’re over so quickly. Most of this book is just the characters going through the void, describing what they’re seeing and a few attacks they have to face and it was just boring to read.

Things also happen for no reason or that have no impact on the plot? And at the same time some things are left without explanation that could’ve had a bigger impact on the main character’s story.

And honestly, I kinda hated Petra. She cares way too much about her business that when someone dies, her first thought is that it will ruin her score, she’s judgmental towards others when she herself had been through a lot when she was younger, she was so quick to let people go and at the same time so easily influenced by those around her. She was so weak for a main character with barely any growth.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC!

It’s not a revolutionary read, and if you’ve read other queer non fiction you’ll probably not learn much from this one, but I did find it interesting to understand how Miller's work was perceived by different people, how the people in his life changed the way they talked to him after he came out and how much that affected him. I could never image being told that my queerness is contagious, that my friends are scared of leaving their kids with me in case I “make them queer”, that I should “keep it to myself” and should live in silence. But it’s unfortunately the reality a lot of people had (and still have) to go through and it was equally sad and compelling to understand that perspective.

It’s also thanks to people like Miller, that share their voice and their story in a time when homosexuality is seen as a disease, that make queer people feel seen, that make them feel more comfortably in their own skin and have a positive self image about themselves.

Some of the things said by Miller are, maybe not questionable but do leave space open for discussion, but a lot of it is also due to the time when this person lived and how, while a gay man himself, he was still learning to accept himself and being part of the queer community.

Yeah this was bad. Entertaining bad but still bad.

The downfall of this book was the writing. It read like wattpad writing, trying to be deep but ultimately just turning out to be cringe, with a romance that not only is very insta-lust but way too sex focused with barely any romantic development between the characters. I still don’t understand why Corvina liked Vad besides being codependent to him. She puts so much focus on him accepting her that it felt like that was the only reason why she wanted to be with him.

I kinda hated Vad honestly. He’s very self entitled, everything has to happen in his way and how he wants, he cant have a relationship with Cordina but, of course, she also cant be with anyone else or have sex with anyone else, he says nothing can happen between them but then randomly kisses her out of nowhere? Make it make sense babes.

There’s so much repetition that it sometimes became annoying to read. He’s masculine - we get it -, he would move mountains for her - I understood that the first 50 times he said it -, her pussy belongs to him - I’m sure it does buddy. All of these little things are said over and over again, sometimes in the same paragraph, that it’s just tedious to read.

I still want to keep reading this author, I do enjoy how she writes dark settings, but really disappointed in this book and I’ll probably go into her other work with lower expectations.