I think I actually regret reading this book. To be clear, I did not go into this book with the intention to hate read it. My friend and I had celebrated Halloween by watching a re-showing of Twilight in theaters (incredible experience) and she lent me her copy of Midnight Sun after learning that I had never read it. She'd told me that it was awful, but coming off the high of seeing Twilight in theaters for the first time, I was genuinely excited to read it.

Twilight got me back into reading when I was entering middle school. I remember borrowing the books from friends at school and staying up all night reading them to give them back the next day. I loved the series! Yes, they're not particularly well-written and a tad problematic at times but there's a reason why they were and continue to be so popular. They're fun to read!

Especially when you're an angsty tween coming of age - it's wish fulfillment at its finest. Even as an adult woman, they're still fun to revisit for the same reason. It's still fun to detach from reality and pop back into Bella's story from time to time, even if it isn't quite as immersive and compelling to me as it was to my younger self.

My issue with Midnight Sun is that it had all the worst parts of the original Twilight series with none of the good parts. Meyer's questionable writing and even more questionable portrayal of romantic relationships were on full display, but the story stopped being fun - mostly because Edward's POV is insufferable.

From Bella's perspective, Twilight is about the magic of falling in love for the first time, of terrifying but thrilling discoveries, and of finally becoming the main character in your own life. From Edward's perspective, Twilight is about obsession and the self-loathing and anxiety that come from being unable to stop yourself from stooping to ever lower lows. It's not fun to read at best, and honestly a bit disturbing at worst.

Edward comes out as a full-fledged stalker in this book. This is already pretty heavily hinted at in the books and movies, but I feel like it's as tastefully done as something like this can be. In Midnight Sun, Edward starts watching Bella sleep SO early in the book. Basically after they first meet. If that's not bad enough, we also learn that he effectively uses his mind reading to stalk her all day through the thoughts of others?! Absolutely insane.

The book suffers from the fact that it's the same exact plot as Twilight just worse because of Edward's perspective. It's not as thrilling as Bella's - we already know his secret - and not as fun to read about. We do get some new information about the Cullens which I appreciate, but I would've much rather just picked that up in a guide book to the series or read it online.

Accepting that this is what Edward's inner thoughts were like during all his brooding, silent moments would actually ruin the series for me so I'm just going to pretend like this book isn't canon and is some horribly written fanfiction by a misguided, but good-intentioned horny teen.

Tread carefully with picking this one up! I opened Pandora's box with this one and am regretting it a little.

I didn't expect this book to consist of first- second- third- hand gossip, but was pretty delighted to find that the case. Insufferable characters, biased unreliable perspectives, and generational grudges the likes of which rival Dynasty (affectionate). Also: intricate social class dynamics, cycles of abuse, mental health crises, and sympathy to be found for even the worst characters. A book that I'd love to dig into with friends as I'm sure everyone will have a slightly different take, but not one that I am likely to think of long beyond that (other than one specific part as an accompanying mental backdrop when listening to Paloma's Last Woman on Earth)