What can I say.

This book made me think of all the queer people I’ve known who left Florida in the last decade, in search of somewhere better. All the queer people I’ve known who want to leave, but haven’t been able to, usually because of financial reasons. A Black trans woman I knew of, who died before her gofundme to escape the state was met. All the queer people I’ve known who decided to stay in Florida and do what we can in this place that hates us and often feels like it’s closing in on us.

This book made me think about the trauma of Pulse, how next year will mark a decade since the massacre. And yet the survivors and families of the victims are still fighting for justice against the club owners, whose negligence caused so many more people to die than necessary. The city, which wanted to turn Pulse into another attraction to make money. Queer Latinx death would have been put on display for tourists to check off their bucket list in-between Disney and Universal. The contradictions of Orlando, of Florida, of living in a place where people vacation.

Edgar is a little older than me and our identities and experiences are not the same. But in listening to their memoir I feel like I’m hearing a friend recount their story. Someone I might have known, if circumstances had been a little different. I’m glad Edgar got out like they wanted to.