Oh Christina Applegate, the woman that you are!

I am usually reluctant to pick up celebrity memoirs (usually because celebrities that I don’t really know or care about write them lol), but when this came out at the beginning of the year, I knew that it was one I was going to have to pick up.

Christina Applegate was able to accomplish everything a good memoir should have. Throughout, the tone flits between funny, candid, and vulnerable in the way that best suits whatever snippet of her life she is sharing. But most importantly, it’s an emotionally charged and vulnerable memoir that feels so true to the real Christina Applegate.

I’m also not really one for audiobooks, but listening to her narrate her own life experiences felt so powerful, especially as she was sharing about some of the most intimate and painful moments of her life. It really lends to how genuine and authentic the memoir felt while reading. Many celebrity memoirs I’ve read come across as fake or self-important (or at the very least, obvious that they were not written by the celebrity themselves but instead a ghostwriter), but I did not feel that way while listening to this one. It was obvious that Applegate put her heart and soul into sharing her true self with the world through this memoir in such a human and relatable way. She really peels back the layers of Christina Applegate the celebrity and shares her truth.

As someone with chronic illness and a history of trauma, this memoir was so affirming. To balance the act of sharing what you’ve been through but not martyring yourself, creating “inspiration porn" or turning yourself into a victim is a hard challenge to take on, especially as a woman. One thing I thought that this memoir did well was sharing the author’s version of the truth in a way that didn’t glamorize it. It gave her the agency to share her story and to be honest about her lived experiences in a way that I’m sure was cathartic without sugarcoating anything, and I’m a firm believer in being able to reclaim your narrative and speaking your truth. But she was able to do so in a way that did not stick her in the victim box. There was no token “I went through hell but it’s better now”, and she even remarks in later chapters about how harmful that narrative is. I think that is what I enjoyed most of all—Applegate acknowledges that some things stay with us forever, and sometimes it’s ok but most of the time it’s not, and we deserve to be able to be honest about that and not have to pretend all the time.

As a note: if you have a hard time with reading about things like sexual abuse, domestic violence, and drug use/addiction, please read with caution.

God this book. I think it may be one of the saddest books I’ve read. Sad in a subtle way. It’s a book that also knows it’s sad. Towards the end I was so frustrated with David. I too began to get as disgusted wth him as he was with himself. I hated how much of a coward he was. Hated the self-loathing and the self-betrayal. And then I realized he was a mirror in some ways and this is why James Baldwin is 1 of 1.

I believe Giovanni’s Room asks us if we see now what denying ourselves does to those we love or want to love? How does self-betrayal beget death? Why are we all so afraid and bent on ruining ourselves to uphold this fear? Ugh 😩 this book was heartbreaking and the prose was immaculate.

I also came across this Substack piece: James Baldwin Grooming and What We Don’t Talk About, Part 1 while reading this book and paired together it gave me so much to think and talk about. Phew. I’m sure I’ll cry soon.