I'm speechless, I don't know how to rate this right now

A beautiful collection of poems full of vivid imagery, lines that punch you in the gut, and tender messages that make your heart spill open.

Rest in peace, joy, love, and ease, Andrea🤍

@sharky_97 has taken me to places I wouldn’t even go with a gun

I genuinely cannot rate this.

From seeing @sharky_97 first mentioning this in the club, to the following cascade of people adding it to their libraries, to fighting with Anna to let me read it (iykyk), to actually reading it...this book was truly a journey.

The writing itself left much to be desired, but some of the ideas and themes were shockingly profound---one day I will actually take the time to sit down and analyze this wonderfully weird story. (Highly recommend checking out @grimbl's review for more Thoughts™️.)

You haven't truly heard Jennette McCurdy until you've heard her voice drop into the chillingly cheerful, manipulative cadence of a mother who views her daughter as a second chance at her failed dream.

What This Book Does Well One of the more striking elements of this memoir for me is the "staccato" nature of her prose. Normally, this is not the type of prose that I am particularly drawn to, but McCurdy writes with surgical precision where every word feels like it had to fight for its place on the page. This brevity doesn't distance the reader - instead, it heightens the emotional impact. By stating horrific instances of abuse with the casualness of a grocery list, McCurdy mirrors the way trauma survivors often normalize their own traumatic history. Furthermore, the "voice" of this book is a masterclass in dark humor. It never feels like she is performing for our comfort. Rather, it feels like we are witnessing her natural coping mechanism - a sharp, witty intellect used to survive the absurdities of the industry and her household. While it might sound as if her voice is "cold", it's actually incredibly vulnerable.

Where It Fell Short For me, it didn't. However, I could see some readers finding the clinical and sparse writing style "flat". Additionally, while I think she navigates these very difficult topics incredibly well, I would highly encourage readers to view the content disclosure notes before engaging with the book if they have concerns.

Craft & Writing Quality McCurdy's ability to articulate her childhood thoughts with such clarity raises fascinating questions about self-awareness. She captures the "parentification" of her youth - the moments where she had to be the emotional anchor for her mother in particular - with a vividness that is almost haunting. Her reflections on her desire not to be sexualized, in particular, stuck me as an important contrast with her professional "obligations", offering a sobering look at the cost of the "American Sweetheart" image child stars are forced into.

Narration & Audio Quality This is one book that I will actually push people to listen to the audiobook edition. McCurdy's performance is spectacular. Because she was a child actor (even if she didn't want to be one), there is a fascinating layer to her narration. When she is reading the "narrator" sections, her voice is grounded and steady; however, when she slips into impressions of her mother or the erratic people in the industry, her acting talent is undeniable. These impressions can provide a jovial, almost joking tone to dark lines that might have felt purely somber on paper, highlighting the twisted reality of her upbringing.

Who I Would Recommend This To This is for anyone who has ever felt the weight of "performing" to be loved or those interested in the darker side of the entertainment industry. It is a vital read for those who appreciate memoirs that don't offer easy, "wrapped in a bow" endings but instead focus on the ongoing work of recovery. If you were a fan of Educated by Tara Westover, you may find a lot to enjoy in *I'm Glad My Mom Died".

Final Thoughts & Opinions Reading this book was a deeply reflective experience that sparked a lot of "Venn diagram" thinking regarding my own childhood and trauma responses. While we had very different upbringings (and not just because she was a child star), I found how much I connected to her trauma responses in particular fascinating. I had to pause the book at one point when I realized how poignant her ability to clock manipulation was (like with her interactions with "The Creator" at such a young age. It was both impressive and a heartbreaking indicator of her need for hypervigilance. Her portrayal of grief following her mother's death is some of the most realistic writing I've encountered on the subject. She captures the secondary trauma of realizing that a loved one was not a perfect person, and the complicated relief that can come with their absence. It is a fantastic memoir that I know will stick with me for a long time.

Scoring Breakdown A truly rare 5's across the board read for me Personal Enjoyment: 5/5 (even if her experiences were horrifying) Overall Execution: 5/5 Craft & Writing Quality: 5/5 Audio & Narration Quality: 5/5 Characterization: 5/5 Narrative Arc: 5/5