I'm getting into this book completely raw. I have no idea what it is about, no idea who the author is, never read any of her books before.

Hence why I'm edging on my seat thinking this book would be laced with thriller, family complex, murder mystery. I'm searching for the vibes, like.. What is this? Someone's going to die? Secret of this rich family? The uncle leading a double life??

So excited lol

At the beginning of this book, I thought it would be difficult to get through the story. Cyrus, at least for me, is a very realistic portrayal of a depressed Muslim struggling to juggle life as we know it and how life is supposed to mean something spiritually. Every corner of his thoughts, all his complicated feelings about being alive while not wanting to live aimlessly or meaninglessly. The idea that life should serve a greater purpose is a struggle many people face. Especially through religion, where life is seen as a gift that requires preservation, honor, and care.

That having a purpose is a must, and thus the idea of martyrdom comes into play.

What I loved most about this story is how blunt it is in showing human hypocrisy. That everyday goodness isn’t just about “not doing bad things,” but about actively choosing to do the right thing. That the choices presented to us as humans are not always real choices, especially when there are strings and conditions pulling us toward a certain decision.

I was slightly thrown off by the twist. It’s something I didn’t particularly enjoy. The whole book had given me something so raw and real that I forgot it was completely fictional. My preference comes from the idea that not all strings are always intertwined in such coincidental ways, but what do I know about the universe, being as young as I am.

Overall, I enjoyed this book thoroughly and resonated deeply with Cyrus’s struggle. I felt seen and understood in my own complications with life, and with the things inside my head and my body.