i feel very trapped on how to feel. whether this story is about the impacts of suicide, or about boys who merely do not understand femininity, or both, all affect my rating severely.

the unreliable narrators, a perspective of present, older men, who piece together a timeline of the lisbon family from when they were teenage boys. what they described felt like romanticization from the male gaze, wondering about how it feels to be a girl, never really find out, and don't care enough to. however, they attempt to highlight female suffering who realize they do not truly understand the tragedy, but continue to obsess years later.

and to put it there simply, their pov and story was not what i looked for.

i care little for their obsession on the "why" that they will never find. the grown up boys keeping "exhibits" of the girls' belongings are thinning in between the idea of suicides showing its tragic effect on society (the boys), or really just an icky investigation about how they see women. i like eugenide's writing, but comparing their items to a row of museum items felt less sentimental, and more like an objectification. but again, perhaps this story is really exposing the boys' cluelessness about faults women are forced to go through.

really, the enjoyment level depends on your interpretation of the story, since everyone's reasoning for the book will differ. i see too many sides of this to pick one.

someone remind me to read this again after high school

the only regret i have is not reading this younger

most people hated this but idc i actually had so much fun

now this is proof her plots do not need that third act break up. i was bracing myself the entire time for some unreasonable mess up but yoooooooooooooooooooooo my MAN vincent over here is already outdoing most of ana's men. shoutout to both brooklyn and vincent for being some of the most mature characters in awhile.

plot wise, there should have been higher stakes not only in their relationship, but the mystery side of it all. the romance was clearly the spotlight making the mystery subplot fall flat and the pacing is also a strong issue i find in most of her books. most people going into this might be disappointed as the "forbiddenness" is barely there. tension was beyond good but never once was there a time i was actually scared of the possibilities for them. it felt too straightforward in a way. also for a sports romance, it didn't feel like much sports was happening.

despite this, i still liked the characters themselves a lot. their romance was chefs kiss and im lowkey drooling for noah and carina's book.

not bad, just boring.

i thought i was gonna gobble this up especially after finding out there was childhood longing, but the characters themselves were beyond bland which didn't help the book's case of being very much character-driven. plot was non-existent besides a few sprinkles here and there, but i did love the development of ford and his daughter, cora.

maybe i didn't grasp the book right, but i genuinely could not tell you most of the characters' inner struggles. they felt so irrelevant, constantly fighting a battle that was progressing at snail speed. hell, i don't even think they got resolved

also the fmc has a quirk of socks and sandals and i just cannot. i don't care who you are, fictional, real, why was this necessary

anyway i am blown surprised that the mmc doesn't have a stick up his ass. i don't remember the last time i've read a book that didn't confuse borderline toxic and actual grumpiness. also he was so down bad, i may not be obsessed with him but forever will i be applauding him

a unique tragedy of a play that will guarantee my chance of becoming an alcoholic significantly lowered.

reading this via play format was not for me