crybabybea commented on pykora's review of Empire of Silence (Sun Eater, #1)
this felt like working a grueling shift in the worldbuilding mines while your coworker, hadrian, trauma dumps on you for 12 hours straight (and yet somehow i still want to clock in tomorrow for round 2?)
crybabybea commented on ruiconteur's review of Babel
iâve read two hundred and ten pages of this allegedly academic book and all iâve come away with is the fact that i canât stand rf kuangâs writing style. the authorâs note in the beginning is completely unnecessary and feels like itâs no more than yet another way for her to flex the fact that she studied in oxford unlike the rest of us plebeians. âthe trouble with writing an oxford novel is that anyone who has spent time at oxford will [nitpick] your textâ yes, yesâis that not exactly what happens with any other real-world setting? youâll have to forgive me for not understanding how ivory-towered oxford is any different.
now for my review of the actual book, which will be done in bullet points because this book is not worth the time and effort a full-length review will require:
anyway, i do think this novel does something good for the dark academia genre, in that it critiques the elitism inherent to academia, and it does have some good points about translation and colonialism and the like, but i think more subtlety and elegance wouldâve served it betterâand also better editing and proof-reading, because itâs genuinely embarrassing for your protagonist to make such errors in his native language(s).
â§âââ  ïœĄïŸâ : .⊠. :â . ââââ§
pre-reading
why is he speaking mandarin in canton...
edit: theyâre also using pinyin despite it not having been created until the 1950s? correct me if iâm wrong but the transliteration systems in use until the mid-19th century were based on nanjingese? so even if they did have a reason to speak mandarin it wouldnât have been romanised this way
crybabybea commented on crybabybea's review of The Bright Years
This book wanted to pretend like it wasn't Christian pedagogy so bad.
The Bright Years started out strong. A complex story about grief, familial disconnection, womanhood and motherhood that promised deep reflection, raw emotion, and tragedy interwoven with hope and healing.
Especially potent for me was the central theme circled around the first third of the book: How do you process grief for a person that is still living, yet lost? The book was moving toward such a nuanced understanding, asking the reader how far love can stretch, and what happens when love is no longer enough.
Damoff's writing style is both her greatest strength and her greatest weakness. Shining with stunning imagery and thought-provoking philosophy, there were several times I stopped in awe.
These moments were overshadowed by the many times Damoff picked up a sledgehammer and beat me over the head with her morality. So many lines so eye-rollingly on-the-nose that there was no room to breathe, let alone feel what Damoff was trying to make me feel. Symbolism so in-your-face that it might as well have been neon flashing signs.
The boundary of the imagination of The Bright Years is narrow. The ultimate salvation in this book comes through birth, motherhood, marriage. Family redeems pain, birth redeems loss, continuity redeems trauma, and faith redeems harm. Deep down, The Bright Years wants you to believe that there is something that will make suffering meaningful and redemptive.
The book constantly circles around the idea of children bringing meaning, hope, and healing. That children can save your life, and it's okay if they are harmed in the process, because redemption is possible, and forgiveness can be earned.
In a book about grief, cycles, and how the choices we make ripple into generations, quietly returning to the idea of family being a form of destiny is constrained. Not malicious, but morally small. It's claustrophobic, a socially sanctioned morality that aligns extremely neatly with white, middle-class, patriarchal norms of success and healing.
Stripping away what the book intends to do, and looking at what it achieves, I'm only left with an empty feeling that there is a right way to suffer, a right way to womanhood, a right way to grieve, a right way to end the cycle. Dark topics like adoption, abuse, addiction, eating disorders lack the emotional weight they deserve when they are used as plot devices to push a moral conclusion.
What gets lost in all of this is the real-world harm. Suffering doesn't always build character. Cycles don't always end in redemption. Self-sacrifice isn't always virtuous. Love doesn't always overcome addiction or transcend harm. This book ends in a version of reality denied to so many people, and wraps it in a moralizing package. If your addict parents didn't choose redemption, it's not because they didn't love you, but also it kind of is.
The Bright Years is a package of evangelical values without the evangelical disclosure. So much opportunity for complex discussions of abuse, healing, and generational cycles, and all I could ever feel while reading was emotionally manipulated.
crybabybea wrote a review...
This book wanted to pretend like it wasn't Christian pedagogy so bad.
The Bright Years started out strong. A complex story about grief, familial disconnection, womanhood and motherhood that promised deep reflection, raw emotion, and tragedy interwoven with hope and healing.
Especially potent for me was the central theme circled around the first third of the book: How do you process grief for a person that is still living, yet lost? The book was moving toward such a nuanced understanding, asking the reader how far love can stretch, and what happens when love is no longer enough.
Damoff's writing style is both her greatest strength and her greatest weakness. Shining with stunning imagery and thought-provoking philosophy, there were several times I stopped in awe.
These moments were overshadowed by the many times Damoff picked up a sledgehammer and beat me over the head with her morality. So many lines so eye-rollingly on-the-nose that there was no room to breathe, let alone feel what Damoff was trying to make me feel. Symbolism so in-your-face that it might as well have been neon flashing signs.
The boundary of the imagination of The Bright Years is narrow. The ultimate salvation in this book comes through birth, motherhood, marriage. Family redeems pain, birth redeems loss, continuity redeems trauma, and faith redeems harm. Deep down, The Bright Years wants you to believe that there is something that will make suffering meaningful and redemptive.
The book constantly circles around the idea of children bringing meaning, hope, and healing. That children can save your life, and it's okay if they are harmed in the process, because redemption is possible, and forgiveness can be earned.
In a book about grief, cycles, and how the choices we make ripple into generations, quietly returning to the idea of family being a form of destiny is constrained. Not malicious, but morally small. It's claustrophobic, a socially sanctioned morality that aligns extremely neatly with white, middle-class, patriarchal norms of success and healing.
Stripping away what the book intends to do, and looking at what it achieves, I'm only left with an empty feeling that there is a right way to suffer, a right way to womanhood, a right way to grieve, a right way to end the cycle. Dark topics like adoption, abuse, addiction, eating disorders lack the emotional weight they deserve when they are used as plot devices to push a moral conclusion.
What gets lost in all of this is the real-world harm. Suffering doesn't always build character. Cycles don't always end in redemption. Self-sacrifice isn't always virtuous. Love doesn't always overcome addiction or transcend harm. This book ends in a version of reality denied to so many people, and wraps it in a moralizing package. If your addict parents didn't choose redemption, it's not because they didn't love you, but also it kind of is.
The Bright Years is a package of evangelical values without the evangelical disclosure. So much opportunity for complex discussions of abuse, healing, and generational cycles, and all I could ever feel while reading was emotionally manipulated.
crybabybea commented on crybabybea's update
crybabybea finished a book

The Bright Years
Sarah Damoff
crybabybea finished a book

The Bright Years
Sarah Damoff
crybabybea commented on MilaOnMain's review of Assata: An Autobiography
This wasnât just a powerful read. It was a full-body experience. Assata didnât just challenge what I thought I knew about state violence, racism, and resistance in America - it forced me to feel it. And to sit with it. Iâm honestly not okay, even days later.
Itâs not just the story of a Black woman. Itâs a searing indictment of the American carceral state, told from the inside by one of its most relentlessly pursued targets. Assata Shakurâs memoir is raw, vulnerable, and filled with an unshakable commitment to justice. I truly think this is one of the most powerful political autobiographies Iâve ever read.
Shakur writes without pretense. Her voice is direct, warm, and even funny at times. She invites us into the full spectrum of her life: childhood memories in the Jim Crow South, her political awakening, her work with the Black Panther Party and the Black Liberation Army. And through it all, one thing becomes clear - the state was never neutral. It was always designed to crush dissent. Especially Black dissent.
Some sections were physically hard to read. The state-sanctioned violence she describes is horrifying. She truly went through so much trauma. Shot, chained to a hospital bed, denied due process, tried multiple times for crimes she didnât commit, and relentlessly portrayed as a monster by the media. And yet the way she tells it - calmly, even dryly at times - made me cry. Because she was used to this treatment. She had been forced to grow up with it. This wasnât a rare injustice. It was the system working exactly as it was built to.
But thereâs so much life in this book. So much spirit. Even in solitary confinement, even when facing life in prison, she finds ways to reflect, to laugh, to remember joy. She writes about children, about music, about camaraderie and small, everyday acts of dignity. She never stopped fighting for what she believed in. Even when it felt hopeless, even when it must have felt like no one was listening.
Reading this left me with a strange mix of grief and clarity. Grief that so much of what she describes still exists today, just in new forms. But clarity too, because she made me see the world through her eyes. Her breakdown of COINTELPRO, internalized anti-Blackness, and the economics of incarceration was decades ahead of its time. And itâs still relevant.
Iâm still processing it. I closed the book feeling raw, heavy, but also awake. Assata doesnât just recount what was done to her - she shows us whatâs still being done to so many. And maybe most importantly, she shows us what it means to resist even when youâre broken, even when youâre alone, even when the odds are stacked against you.
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"Niceness too is a hustle, though I will have to approach that at another time, when there aren't tanks lining the downtown of the city I live in, awaiting armed fascists who might seek to break into the statehouse or who might seek to yell on the sidewalk or who might seek something in between those two extremes."
i had to post this quote because this entire chapter is about hustling and the connections Abdurraqib draws are making me thonk extra hard. like, race as a hustle, the performance and "goodness" of whiteness as a hustle, the American dream as a hustle... the way he is able to zoom in and out sentence by sentence is so amazing
Post from the Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail forum
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