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ivcer

26yo inquisitive wanderer 𐙚🧸ྀི

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Spring 2025 Readalong
Reading...Conversations on Love
My Taste
Lonely Castle in the Mirror
Never Let Me Go
Heaven
I Who Have Never Known Men
The Secret History

ivcer wants to read...

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Isola

Isola

Allegra Goodman

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Post from the Conversations on Love forum

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  • Conversations on Love
    Thoughts from 9% (The psychology of being alone, with Alain de Botton)

    Author: If you don't value or understand yourself, is there more risk you could lose yourself in a relationship? Alain de Botton: .. One way of looking at the risk of losing yourself is through the prism of self-love or self-hatred, but another is asking, how much fidelity are you going to bring to being certain of your own feelings? And how many of your feelings are going to be overruled by stories that come in from the outside? Because, frequently, anyone you're in a relationship with has a view on what's right for you, or what's right or wrong in the world. And the capacity to say, 'That's interesting, but I've got my own reality, and I'm not sure that fits in', depends on whether that's a muscle that's been exercised in childhood. ..

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  • Post from the Conversations on Love forum

    4d
  • Conversations on Love
    Thoughts from 8% (The psychology of being alone, with Alain de Botton)

    Author: A topic I'm getting different points of view on is the clichĂŠ that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. I'm wandering if, rather than self-love, perhaps self-understanding is a more useful goal. Where do you stand on this? Alain de Botton: I'd place the emphasis on self-understanding too, and the capacity to communicate it. If somebody said, 'I don't adore myself, but I'm interested in myself and I can communicate the truth about myself to other people,' that would be more reassuring than somebody who said, 'I'm perfect.' Acknowledging your brokenness, pain and insufficiency is a rather romantic thing to do. Actually, an overemphatic self-admiration cuts you off from other people, whereas an engagement with your own vulnerability is key to building a bond. When it comes to self-love it's not so much about loving yourself, but accepting that all human beings have their less impressive sides, and so your less impressive sides don't cut you off from the possibility of having a good relationship. They don't mean that you're a terrible person who doesn't deserve love. They just mean you are part of the human family.

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  • ivcer started reading...

    4d
    Conversations on Love: Lovers, Strangers, Parents, Friends, Endings, Beginnings

    Conversations on Love: Lovers, Strangers, Parents, Friends, Endings, Beginnings

    Natasha Lunn

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    ivcer commented on caait's update

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    ivcer commented on a post from the Pagebound Club forum

    2w
  • Paperback or Hardcover?

    For those of y'all with home libraries, what do you prefer to buy: paperback or hardcover format? Would love if you could also share why that's your preference (e.g., is it an aesthetic consideration or based on what you like to hold or something else)!

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  • ivcer wrote a review...

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  • Acts of Desperation
    ivcer
    May 14, 2025
    1.0
    Enjoyment: 0.5Quality: 2.0Characters: 0.5Plot: 0.5

    I found the first 50 or so pages of this book compelling, but everything after that was just an uncomfortable experience altogether. Reading it felt like I was sitting on a dim, isolated bench in a sketchy part of town, forced to listen to the ramblings of a drunk stranger - intrusive and emotionally draining. There's no denying that there are serious and important topics in this book that should remain a part of ongoing public dialogue, and I will always advocate for raising awareness about these issues. However, I didn't feel that the way these themes were presented offered much insight to that conversation. At its core, this is a story about two deeply morally flawed people who clearly needed therapy but somehow ended up together, which only made them even worse. I'm fine with the fact that not every story and every character in fiction has to have a good ending, because not everyone in life has one, but I had a huge problem with the overall tone of this book. It left me feeling hollow and disturbed in a way that I can't quite articulate, except to say it felt more like an exposure to pain than a meaningful reflection on it.

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  • ivcer wants to read...

    2w
    The Bewitching

    The Bewitching

    Silvia Moreno-Garcia

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    ivcer wants to read...

    2w
    The True Happiness Company: How a Girl Like Me Falls for a Cult Like That

    The True Happiness Company: How a Girl Like Me Falls for a Cult Like That

    Veena Dinavahi

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    ivcer wants to read...

    3w
    Heart the Lover

    Heart the Lover

    Lily King

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