maomi's Book Journey

i'm having an extremely hard time believing that a minion, with their short little arms and stubby fingers, possesses the dexterity required to unclasp and remove a bra. so far this is the most unrealistic part of the story.

Katie feigned disappointment, which was difficult to pull off with the minion’s floppy tongue exploring her pleasure taco. “Too bad,” she said. “We were just getting started.”

I’ve heard a lot of different words for “vagina” over the years, and this is the first time I’ve ever seen the words “pleasure” and “taco” next to each other. What a time to be alive.

Way back when I was in college (think 2012 tumblr vibes) I took a class called Sex, Gender and Society. One of our extra credit assignments was to write a story that was outside of “The Charmed Circle” (Gayle Rubin) and I wrote about Sam and Dean Winchester getting it on and I got an A on it. Another project we had was to list all of the slang we knew for breasts, anus, vagina, and penis. It took my class two (2) days to list all of the terms we knew and let me tell ya, pleasure taco was not on there.

okay. so like what the fuck is Katie wearing on this date? so far we know dark lipstick, purple eyeshadow, jet black hair. and then, purple skirt over black and white striped stockings? who put together this outfit? a clown? is Katie a goth girl? did she get dressed in the dark? smh.

i'm having an extremely hard time believing that a minion, with their short little arms and stubby fingers, possesses the dexterity required to unclasp and remove a bra. so far this is the most unrealistic part of the story.

If my review isn't enough do deter you from this read, here are a few quotes that stood out to me, that I'd like to share :

First category : description of coochie

moistening love muffin

her pleasure taco

Second category : honestly who says that ?

"I was all horned up for a Tinder date, and your boss is lame. You gonna show me your dicks or what?"

"Oh! That's why you're always going on about bananas. You want me to unpeel you."

Third category : is this supposed to turn me on ?

snail-trailed his way up her body

Like the minions' bodies, their dicks were all head

Shrunken Pim did a lap around her ear canal with his tongue, getting it nice and wet, then stood and shoved his snack-sized weiner into the side of her head. She almost pulled away, but realized that it felt just like sticking a Q-tip in her ear after a long day – mmm, relief.

Don't get me wrong, you're very much allowed to be into ear play like, you go ahead and be your freaky self, we don't kink shame here. But the writing was 🤮 imo

Finally what is a fucky feeling ? Wdym you're left with a fucky feeling after that ?

“Pulpy love juice”

Katie, girl, you need to visit your OBGYN. It should not be pulpy.

her moistening love muffin

oh god, what did I get myself into 🫣