Look, this is a sexy short story based on the iconic Folgers coffee commercial "Coming Home" written by the same author who wrote Priest. If you know, you know, and I got what I came for. The fact that it exists at all is, in some ways, enough.

For the extremely niche fandom that still thinks about that commercial every winter, happy holidays because this is for us and it is glorious. The best part of waking up truly is Folgers [stepsiblings] in your cup.

This reminded me of University days and not in a good way - we were not a good match this book and I! I tried to narrow down exactly what didn't quite work for me and the conclusion is, basically all of it.

⚬ The messy non-communicative wombo combo of Penn - Scarlett - Lukas made me far too anxious and uncomfortable the whole way through this book. To be clear, I didn't have an issue with the 'power exchange' content, nor necessarily with the Penn - Lukas history (this is not a spoiler, you know about these two within the first two pages of the book), but the way it all unfolded and was handled by these characters was not my cup of tea. It is very frustrating when characters refuse to buck up and talk about things that really need to be talked about and so its dragged out to unreasonable lengths to drive a bit of drama. It all felt immature.

⚬ Lukas and Scarlett reminded me of Elsie and Jack from Love, Theoretically so as characters they didn't feel very fresh. But if you liked Elsie and Jack, you may like these two!

⚬ I got a bit exhausted of the consistent jokes re: Sweden. Sure Lukas seemed ok with it (?) but making lame jokes and poking fun of differing cultural norms all the time is fucking exhausting, kinda rude and not 'cute banter.'

⚬ Turns out I don't find the details of diving all that interesting. I am so sorry but I am absolutely one of those 'watch it at the Olympics only' type of people please forgive me Divers of PB. I still think you're amazing though and killer Athletes - maybe Scarlett wasn't the most engaging introduction.

All this and more leaves me at an underwhelming, but did finish it, 2 stars.

P.S. Wearing outdoor shoes on inside is gross, I stand by Lukas.

Agatha Christie really is that grandma

86 years later and it still goes hard

I used to DEVOUR Wattpads as a teen, absolutely gorged myself on them, and I sometimes miss the feeling of reading something that’s kinda bad for you but is really good. Like eating a giant slice of chocolate cake. Is it the most nutritious choice? No. Do I sometimes want to be licking frosting off my fingers like I’m on my 40th day of Survivor? Yes! Reading Butcher & Blackbird is like that. It is basically a werewolf Wattpad but replace werewolf with serial killer. It’s not based in reality at all. Rowan is the classic alpha male, domineering, aggressive & mega horny for her! It’s indulgent, it’s decadent, it’s filthy. Sometimes I was wishing for a bite of a salad, something with more substance & depth but it’s great for what it is! I wish I could’ve read it in the throes of teenage hormones to really enjoy the experience.