I know there’s a lot of us OCD havers in the forum, but I wanted to put something together for people who might not know as much about OCD and wanted to see what they might have missed! I’m skipping over contamination OCD because there was honestly just too much of it and it would be a post twice as long as this one of just those moments.

Quick OCD overview:

What makes Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder diagnosable as itself rather than generalized anxiety disorder or only intrusive thoughts is the connection between Obsessions and Compulsions. When you see OCD represented poorly in media, you’ll see the compulsions (most commonly, obsessive cleaning) but won’t necessarily get that they’re always tied to an Obsession (even if the person suffering from OCD might not be able to identify what the triggering Obsession is in the moment, there is one). There’s more to it—“distress” is a big thing in OCD treatment, and this is the disorder where you actually see Exposure Therapy used and see it work, although it’s called Exposure and Response Prevention here—but this is the basic principle and where the name obviously comes from. People with OCD have significantly more intrusive thoughts than the average person, and there’s a lot of complexes that go along with that.

The biggest misconceptions about OCD are probably that it’s always about germs or that we like things being clean and tidy (this is one place where that distress thing comes in: if you like it, it’s not OCD). Also, I don’t think you will ever find someone with OCD who only has obsessions and intrusive thoughts about one thing. I describe myself as having Contamination OCD (that germ concern, fear of getting sick) because that’s where you see most of my obsessions and compulsions, especially the ones that other people notice—but I have plenty of obsessions and compulsions that have nothing to do with contamination (graphic intrusive thoughts and checking compulsions are big ones for me, and lock checking is that those around me notice and are affected by).

Okay, let’s get into it!

Sticky thoughts

She feels certain about a lot of things she can't explain, the way some people are certain that God exists. Some thoughts just cross her mind and sink their teeth in. (8)

The notion of thoughts getting “stuck” in your mind, especially if they are unwanted or illogical. The way these are presented in text—typically in conjunction with God or a supernatural certainty—I thought might get missed as a Cora character trait or something supernatural going on. This is OCD.

Illogical Thoughts and awareness of them

Cora knows all too well that the mangled clockwork of her mind doesn't always respond to logical arguments, that the fact that something is objectively safe doesn't mean her mind won't short-circuit anyway (99)

One thing about OCD that people don’t tend to understand is that we know we’re not being logical. Sometimes I will be genuinely convinced of something and think the logic makes sense (or conversely, that the logic of something true doesn’t make sense, which made COVID extra fun), but for the most part, we know we’re being illogical. We know the compulsion doesn’t make sense and can’t actually change the thing we’re worried about. That doesn’t make it any less real for us. You can’t logic your way out of OCD—it genuinely does not respond to logic. It’s magical thinking.

Cora stares at the brick, feels a bit like one has shattered her brain as well because she was doing everything right. She was out trying to be social, to not hide away in her apartment, to eat food she didn't prepare herself, make small talk about movies, things normal twenty-four-year-olds do. But still, no matter how hard she tries to just have a simple life, everything around her always breaks. (110)

This is another great example of this. “If I’m good, the bad things won’t happen.”

Anxieties about being perceived

Cora cannot imagine how terrible it would feel if the typhoons of her mind were visible on the outside. (40)

But she knows better than to say this out loud, because everything looks dirty to her, and Cora Zeng thinking something is dirty doesn't mean the average human agrees—at least, that's what everyone tells her. (10)

And Cora doesn't want anyone digging around in her brain, not anymore. She already knows there are too many frayed wires up there, too many broken circuits. […] None of them can help her because she can't tell them the truth. Whenever anyone gets a glimpse of what Cora's mind is truly like, they always have one hand hovering above the panic button, ready to send her away, make her someone else's liability. No one wants to help her untangle her mind; they want her to disappear. (78)

When you know your brain is broken, that you’re not normal, that the logic you’re functioning under is wrong, the idea of that being seen is terrifying. There’s a lot of shame that comes with OCD. It’s isolating. It’s othering.

”Is that one of your things?" he says. "My things," Cora says, even though she knows exactly what Harvey means. ”Yeah, like with your hands?" Harvey says, mimicking rubbing hand sanitizer into his palms. Cora doesn't know how to answer. She's not stupid—she knows she doesn't do a perfect job of hiding things like that from Harvey or Yifei, but the fact that Harvey is saying it out loud makes her feel like he's peeled all her skin off and is staring at the map of her veins. (190)

Checking compulsion

She doesn’t think she could forget anything this important, but she likes haying something solid to look back to because sometimes her mind lies to her—that's what everyone says.(201–2)

I don’t think anyone mentioned this in the forum, but Cora’s request for her aunt to write down what not to do during August is a compulsion. Having things in writing to reference, to make sure you’re sure you remembered or understood them correctly, reading it over and over—this is “checking.” Checking can also show up as making sure doors are locked, stoves are off, etc.

Violent/graphic intrusive thoughts

I mentioned that intrusive thoughts are a big part of OCD, and that people with OCD rarely have all of their symptoms tied to one subject. Throughout Bat Eater, Cora is subjected to a number of visceral, graphic intrusive thoughts.

[Cora] scoots close to Yifei so the cars don't pass too close to her. She imagines the side mirror of a pickup truck clipping the back of her head and making a crater in her skull. (106)

Cora feels prickly, sure there's glass lodged somewhere she can't see, like inside her ear canal. It will slide deeper and deeper while she lies on her side in bed, carve paths in her brain, as if her mind isn't already an egg over easy. She barely eats the dumplings, afraid that glass has somehow lodged itself in them through the thin gaps in the Styrofoam. (111)

Cora has another one of her thoughts, the kind that steamroll all the others away: Delilah taking a bite out of Harvey's throat, his esophagus like a wet noodle as she slurps it down, and Harvey can't make a sound, can only fall forward and turn and look at Cora, his empty throat like a second mouth screaming for him, and through it Cora can see all his wet in-sides (186)

Intrusive thoughts about intrusive thoughts

Another fun thing about intrusive thoughts in OCD is that you can have intrusive thoughts ABOUT intrusive thoughts! The whole point is that they’re unwanted, disturbing, they’re designed to cause you distress, but you can obsess over how they’re real and make you a bad person!! So fun!

her therapist once said they were called intrusive thoughts, the most terrible, cruel things that you know you would never do but can't help but think. Except her therapist has no way of knowing what Cora will or will not do, what's an intrusive thought and what's a wish. (108–9)

The thought is so unfair that Cora immediately strips down for her second shower, scrubbing herself as if to purge the cruelty from her mind. Her therapist would dismiss it as another intrusive thought, but Cora thinks it's just pettiness. (124)

This is such a perfect example of the logic of compulsions. She has an intrusive thought about Delilah deserving to be look at with fear and performs a cleaning compulsion to “purge” the thought. Compulsions can also be internal, so lots of people will try to “replace” intrusive thoughts with pure ones or engage in logic with the intrusive thought. (Really, what you learn in OCD treatment, is to just acknowledge that it’s an intrusive thought and let it pass, which Cora mentions briefly.)

If you’re suffering from untreated OCD, or think you might have OCD, I promise you it does get better. I promise the treatment works. I know it’s terrifying and it is really hard, but it will work and you will get better ♥️