Rating memoirs is hard! Hold all of this very loosely! If this book helped you/resonates with you ignore me!

I highly recommend the audiobook if they agree with you. I think McCurdy does a good job reading it, and there are a few moments where her emotions carry through, which adds to it's weight.

And this is a heavy memoir, y'all. I think the shocking truth combined with a child actor is why this is such a highly rated memoir. I don't think I have ever seen anything McCurdy is in, so the personal connection isn't there for me, and I was consistently hoping for more. In terms of substance (thoughts, reflections, insight, etc.) there is very little here. I don't necessarily think we're entitled to substance, to be clear - I think memoir writers have total freedom to include, or not include, whatever they deem appropriate for telling their story. McCurdy chose to stick to a relating-of-facts memoir, with very little processing, grappling with, or reflection of those events. For example, we never talk about the title or explore anything that really connected to it. Considering the nature of her story I do strongly empathize with the desire to get your story out there - to set the record straight and expose the reality you have been silently enduring for two decades. For me personally, though, I was hoping for more considering how highly rated this memoir is. I feel kind of icky saying that; all stories are worth telling! I just. have read a lot of abuse stories, and so this doesn't really stand out in any meaningful way to me. (again, that feels icky to say!)

I hope, though, she continues to write and maybe in another two decades she will write another memoir that explores what the long term recovery from both her EDs and her mothers abuse has been like. I think for me, personally, that would be the much more interesting story since we have no shortage of shock value memoirs already (not that shocking us was the goal - to be clear. Her story just is shocking, unfortunately). Abuse abounds, but healing seems in short supply. I hope McCurdy is able to find that, and that this book was a cathartic part of that process for her.

I do appreciate how candid McCurdy is, which makes the CW/TW for this pretty significant. Some other reviewers have done a good job of listing those out so I won't replicate their work, but definitely check them ahead of time and be kind to yourself while reading. I do not recommend binging the book in one day like I did!