Honestly, I was expecting a romcom (as that's what First Time Caller was) and was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't.

And Now Back to You is a beautiful book about finding yourself, pushing your boundaries, being taken care of and knowing yourself. Jackson and Delilah make an excellent pair, both with the same flaws but shown and told very differently. I really liked how the main focus of the relationship 'you aren't difficult, you just have had anyone take care of you' which is such a lovely message!

There's plenty of tension, drama, lightheadedness, sadness and all of the emotions scattered throughout. It felt far more real than FTC (likely due to the situations Jackson and Delilah are dealing with) and yet that didn't stop me from getting completely lost in the story telling.

The majority of the time the writing was concise, however there were many moments in this that felt rather back and forth- repetitive sentences and thoughts that truly didn't add much to the book or experience. Some passages really dragged because I could tell it was the same argument rehashed, and it wouldn't go anywhere. Some things in the main plot (namely things surrounding Delilah) were brushed over and not given as much attention as they should.

I enjoyed this so much more than First Time Caller, and would recommend this over that. I will re read this lots!

This book did not resonate with me as well as it did for others, which is a shame because I wanted to like it so badly. bell hooks overall writes wonderfully about the patriarchy, capitalism, and family, but the parts that I found insightful did not resonate with me and the rest I found odd. I'm immensely privileged to have grown up in a home that represented love fairly well at least as opposed to abuse, so the first section provided me with good thoughts and reflection, but not a lot of material to really feel. Due to that, I did not have the same goodwill that results from feeling so seen as some other readers might have. Her reflections on the patriarchy in chapter 3 had me highlighting ferociously and I was convinced at that point that I would love this book. Not long after, though, it went downhill for me.

The vitriol with which hooks spoke of Monica Lewinsky, the questionable position on addiction, and the suggestion that Nicole Simpson Brown kept herself and her children in danger because she liked their affluent lifestyle made it hard to listen to anything else she had to say. I appreciated her reflections on materialism and capitalism overall, but I found the tone of these parts disrespectful. Additionally, after chapter 3, the balance between nailing men and women alike for their participation in the patriarchy disappeared and women seemed to be hit harder than men. I think the intended audience played a part in this as writing to women means that the advice is going to be primarily geared toward what women can do to experience love fully, but I would have appreciated a little more acknowledgment that finding the people with whom to experience that is difficult when so many men are not looking to escape the patriarchy. The spiritual aspect of this book also wasn't for me, especially the last chapter on angels.

Some aspects of the book seem to be products of hooks' time, namely the gender essentialism, heteronormativity, and even her position on Lewinsky. Despite how monumental hooks' work has been for feminism, she is human and thus isn't exempt from having blind spots and absorbing positions from the culture around her. This book is evidence of that.

For me, this book probably is not one I will ever pick up again (except, perhaps, to reference some of the parts related to the patriarchy and capitalism), and some of the things mentioned above left a very sour taste in my mouth. However, if you have a difficult time reconciling your view of love with your childhood or if you think a Buddhist-Christian view of love could be interesting, you may find this book insightful. There are people for whom the middle sections of this book will not sour their experience due to how thoughtful other parts are, but I cannot overstate how much I am not one of those people.