let me set the scene…for some additional context i just booked a trip to maine with some friends!

to me, this was definitely a nightmare. i was with family in what was presumably maine, at this huge bookstore that felt more like a venue. it had an outdoor garden area and everything. i was at a book signing for the song of achilles and the “author” was a very old woman. i had weirdly come unprepared and though they were sold out of almost every copy, i managed to find one, which had similar vibes to the cover of the illustrated edition of the hunger games.

on top of everything, it was going on much longer than it should have. my family was getting impatient and wanting to leave. finally, it seemed like she was heading over to the garden area to sign some books. i left my copy with my family to go investigate, and once i approached i realized i no longer had my copy! i ran back to my family but they had put it back so we would leave. the only copy remaining had the ugliest font i’ve ever seen, blinding vertical white and light pink stripes, and an asymmetrical lobster. it was the same texture as those classics found in the back of barnes and nobles! i left quite crestfallen.

have any of you ever had a dream like that either related to books or even with scenes from ones you’ve read? this is the first one i’ve had that i can recall so i was wondering if anyone’s had a similar experience!

Jamie Bauer transitioned decades after their work in ACT UP, and now is nonbinary, but they came from the women’s peace movement and the lesbian activist community and functioned in ACT UP as an emissary of those legacies. Here I found that Nan Alamilla Boyd’s pioneering 1999 article “Looking for Lesbian Bodies in Transgender History” is very helpful to those of us telling lesbian and transgender histories through the same individuals. Jamie had particular experience in the Women’s Pentagon Action, in 1979, had great knowledge and commitment to nonviolence, and was learned and skilled in civil disobedience training from a feminist perspective. In fact, in our pretransition interview for the Oral History Project, Jamie details how they and others like John Kelley, BC Craig, Robert Vázquez-Pacheco, and Alexis Danzig (straight, bi, future trans, queer, gay, lesbian, white, Black, Brown, female, and male) educated ACT UP about nonviolent civil disobedience; organized and ran trainings for protesters, marshals, and legal observers; and basically supervised and organized ACT UP’s unwavering use of nonviolent civil disobedience.

I find Schulman’s language here TERF-y at worst and belabored at best. I don’t like the name of the article cited in the context of the TERF hysteria around “they’re trans-ing all the butches!” but, as far as I can tell, Boyd isn’t a TERF, just maybe playing on that language in the title of a trans-inclusionary theory/history. (I don’t have the institutional access I’d need to read these scholarly articles for myself.)

But in any case, I find it strange that Schulman felt the need to suddenly cite an article here. Her language throughout isn’t scholarly. I don’t recall her citing any other academic texts.

And the result of this suddenly “scholarly” use of language is strange. If Schulman’s language reflects Jamie Bauer’s, then that’s completely valid, of course! I’ve just never personally heard a non-binary person describe their journey with gender like this. It’s sometimes akin to “coming out”, as in, “I’m now sharing my real name/pronouns with you” or sometimes it’s more like “I’ve explored different gender expressions, and here’s where I feel comfortable (for now).” But I’ve never heard “I’ve been a Woman, but now I’m going to Transition and become a Non-binary.”

In any case, I just don’t think this whole discussion is warranted. It’s simply not confusing (or even surprising) that a non-binary person was involved in feminist & lesbian organizing. I’m reminded of Miss Major talking about being radicalized in a men’s prison or her son calling her “Daddy”. I don’t think anyone genuinely reacts to that with “But how, when you are a Woman???”

Super long post to call something belabored, hahah. This has been bothering me!

Jamie Bauer transitioned decades after their work in ACT UP, and now is nonbinary, but they came from the women’s peace movement and the lesbian activist community and functioned in ACT UP as an emissary of those legacies. Here I found that Nan Alamilla Boyd’s pioneering 1999 article “Looking for Lesbian Bodies in Transgender History” is very helpful to those of us telling lesbian and transgender histories through the same individuals. Jamie had particular experience in the Women’s Pentagon Action, in 1979, had great knowledge and commitment to nonviolence, and was learned and skilled in civil disobedience training from a feminist perspective. In fact, in our pretransition interview for the Oral History Project, Jamie details how they and others like John Kelley, BC Craig, Robert Vázquez-Pacheco, and Alexis Danzig (straight, bi, future trans, queer, gay, lesbian, white, Black, Brown, female, and male) educated ACT UP about nonviolent civil disobedience; organized and ran trainings for protesters, marshals, and legal observers; and basically supervised and organized ACT UP’s unwavering use of nonviolent civil disobedience.

I find Schulman’s language here TERF-y at worst and belabored at best. I don’t like the name of the article cited in the context of the TERF hysteria around “they’re trans-ing all the butches!” but, as far as I can tell, Boyd isn’t a TERF, just maybe playing on that language in the title of a trans-inclusionary theory/history. (I don’t have the institutional access I’d need to read these scholarly articles for myself.)

But in any case, I find it strange that Schulman felt the need to suddenly cite an article here. Her language throughout isn’t scholarly. I don’t recall her citing any other academic texts.

And the result of this suddenly “scholarly” use of language is strange. If Schulman’s language reflects Jamie Bauer’s, then that’s completely valid, of course! I’ve just never personally heard a non-binary person describe their journey with gender like this. It’s sometimes akin to “coming out”, as in, “I’m now sharing my real name/pronouns with you” or sometimes it’s more like “I’ve explored different gender expressions, and here’s where I feel comfortable (for now).” But I’ve never heard “I’ve been a Woman, but now I’m going to Transition and become a Non-binary.”

In any case, I just don’t think this whole discussion is warranted. It’s simply not confusing (or even surprising) that a non-binary person was involved in feminist & lesbian organizing. I’m reminded of Miss Major talking about being radicalized in a men’s prison or her son calling her “Daddy”. I don’t think anyone genuinely reacts to that with “But how, when you are a Woman???”

Super long post to call something belabored, hahah. This has been bothering me!

post has been deleted.

I’m currently listening to the audiobook and while the “redactions” can be a bit grating to listen to, I’m so enjoying the narrator’s interpretation and pacing. It might be more difficult to follow along if not for the the distinct voices the narrator uses to anchor us into this non-linear puzzlebox of a story.

I didn’t go into this thinking of it as horror, but there are moments that are truly horrifying and provide such haunting imagery while leaving you bereft with a lack of hope for our protagonist’s extraordinary efforts.

So far, I think it’s brilliant and I’m enjoying it thoroughly. It’s one of those books that lingers on the mind between “readings” and I’m eager to finish it although I know I’ll be a bit sad when it’s over.

This book and Evervale lowkey changed my life. If you've got more homoerotically charged enemies please give them to me

Just started this on vacation and I love it so far! The way the letters are integrated in the story is amazing and I love that there are two authors!!

I'm having such a hard time reading lately. I have all this books I want to read in my shelves but I can't summon the courage to pick them. It's so weird because I am honestly curious about them, but it scares me that I won't feel excited once I start them!!! That has been happening a lot lately 🥲

So I’ve been thinking about a recent trend: the growing pressure we place on marginalised authors to educate us — to teach us empathy.

We often say we want to “read diversely”, but what does it actually mean to read diversely? More often than not, I’m seeing people pick up books by marginalised authors expecting them to centre horrifying lived experiences. This isn’t inherently a bad thing. Books allow us to explore certainly realities and nuances in a safe space but it also means that publishers and editors notice this trend and begin to modify their expectations accordingly. It creates a feedback loops. They notice what sells and reinforce it. The result, I feel, is that marginalised authors are expected to be educators first and storytellers second.

I see this frequently on Instagram and tiktok posted on Instagram—criticisms of books for not having enough “authenticity” or “representation”. But who gets to decide what these words mean for a marginalised author? It often feels like unpaid labour — the pressure to conduct thorough and extensive research, ensure historical accuracy, and carefully manage emotional responsibility so as not to offend the delicate sensibilities of us as readers. This is labour we rarely see demanded of white authors. White authors are free to write almost any story they choose, whereas marginalised authors are expected to lace their novels with colonisation, historical trauma, and victimhood in order to be taken seriously. It's something that Yellowface also brings up. That Marginalised authors are put in a box of selling Marginalised stories. As if they cannot write anything else.

My question is—why can’t white authors be expected to research and write about white people’s horrifying impact as colonisers? Why is this work so often outsourced to those who already carry the weight of that history?

That’s why I’m genuinely excited for an upcoming Sleeping Beauty retelling by a Cindy Pham who is a POC author. It isn’t what publishers typically push marginalised authors to produce, and it feels refreshing. It’s a reminder that marginalised authors should be allowed range like joy, fantasy, romance, and whimsy (although if I remember correctly, Cindy’s work will deal with mental health topics) without having to justify their work through suffering of their people.

To be clear, I’m not saying marginalised authors shouldn’t write stories about oppression or trauma. I’m saying that we, as readers, often expect them to. We want novels to teach us something, and while that is not a bad thing, it can be restrictive. If we truly want to learn about oppression and empathy, we should also be picking up non-fiction books too people! As for novels, remember that we as readers are free to make meaning of fiction in any way we want even if the author didn't explicitly intend to write a novel with that particular meaning. Reading with empathy, learning empathy, and learning about oppression and suffering is an onus that eventually falls on us as adults with a rational working mind.

For context, I’m a POC.

I’m curious to hear what you think about this. Feel free to agree, disagree or add more layers to this conversation.

I'm having such a hard time reading lately. I have all this books I want to read in my shelves but I can't summon the courage to pick them. It's so weird because I am honestly curious about them, but it scares me that I won't feel excited once I start them!!! That has been happening a lot lately 🥲

This book is literally the slowest thing I’ve ever read…200 pages in and FINALLY something is happening 😂

post has been deleted.