This book lovingly cracked me open til I was bleeding on the floor and it doesn't even have a PLOT

I mean, I guess it technically does. The entire main plot can be found in the blurb: Adina is an alien who spends her life faxing observations about humans back to her home planet for reporting purposes. Eventually she shares them with the world, but this doesn't happen until late in the book. The story really just follows her life, her thoughts as she tries to make sense of humanity and forms connections and navigates being an outsider on a foreign planet.

Despite the alien stuff, I wouldn't classify this as sci-fi. It's left pretty much up to the reader whether or not they want to take her being an alien literally. Part of the beauty of this book is that it doesn't really matter whether you take it literally or not. Either way, if you're someone who has ever felt othered from the world around you, Adina's story WILL hit like crazy.

I was obsessed with the writing pretty much immediately. Bertino has such a unique style and way with words, she did things with the English language that I've truly never seen before and it was one of the most engaging experiences I've had with someone's prose in a long time, possibly ever. She created such a strong narrative voice for Adina that the book's pacing flowed effortlessly despite not having much of a central plot structure. Some authors are just masters of the craft and it didn't take long for me to be convinced that Bertino is one of them.

Idk how to describe the effect of this book except by saying it's just so charming. Adina is such an endearing character and it was a delight to read about her interactions and reactions to the world. It also made my heart ache, because not everything about being human is delightful and Adina doesn't miss that fact. But it all culminates into something so beautiful that I can't fully describe, I just need more people to read it.

I also sobbed at the end and was on the verge of tears at MANY points throughout the book. Adina has my heart and so do the earthly creatures she forms bonds with; I'm lucky that I get to be one of them.

I really need authors to start considering whether the novella format actually suits the book they're trying to write, because this had the bare bones of an amazing novel. It was too short, however, to actually give all of its elements enough room to develop.

I did love the author's note at the end talking about how she specifically wanted to examine the legacy of the Mexican-American war. After California came under United States control, many of its Mexican landowners were dispossessed of their lands and fortunes by the US, and Gómez discusses that she wanted the book to delve into the ironic cycles of colonization that took place: that white Spanish-descended Mexicans were now decrying the injustice of being colonized by the US, when they'd had no trouble doing the exact same thing to the indigenous peoples who previously owned the land. And that after spending so long trying to separate themselves from the brown Mexicans they viewed as beneath them, white Mexicans were now contending with a country that viewed them as one and the same. This is such an interesting area of history to use as a lens for talking about colonialism and race, and it would've been an amazing focus for the novella. But while it does get touched on, there were so many other ideas swimming around in this book that the author never really got a chance to dive into it.

My main issue was this lack of focus: Gómez gestures at a lot of important themes, but doesn't have enough time to properly do justice to any of them. The characters also felt two-dimensional at best, and the writing was missing some kind of extra oomph that would've ramped up the gothic atmosphere. The romance lacked juice for me, probably also because there just wasn't enough time to develop it.

That said, this was still okay. I enjoyed the story itself and the ideas behind it, even though the execution wasn't fully there. It took me from point A to point B and didn't lose my attention or offend me along the way. I would say if the blurb interests you, check it out -- it does deliver pretty much what it says it will.

De-center men from sapphic stories 2026!!!

Okay, I do think this one is a little on me. I should've known from the synopsis that I wasn't going to enjoy a book about a woman leaving her abusive husband. It's just not something I get much from reading about: I already know that men can be manipulative gaslighters and treat women horribly. I don't feel a need to read more cases of it. It's the same reason I avoid a lot of "feminine rage" books -- there's only so many times I can read about women dealing with textbook abusive men. I hoped that maybe, given the marketing of this book as a sapphic love story, the husband storyline would be more in the background and I could enjoy the gays, but unfortunately said husband was very prevalent.

That said, I still enjoyed parts of Gen and Emily's story, especially the flashback chapters detailing their history together before an evil man entered the picture. I thought that initial build of their romance was really sweet and well-done, and the angst was gorgeous. But the present-day chapters didn't hit as much. The rekindling of their romance and Emily's entire personal arc was haunted constantly by this abuser, and while it definitely kept me engaged out of sheer frustration, it wasn't the experience I wanted. I felt like we barely got to dive into all the complexities of Gen and Emily's relationship as adults because we were so focused on getting my girl away from the absolute piece of dogshit she'd married. Not to mention the ending was insanely rushed.

I'll give Marie Rutkoski points for her writing; I probably would've DNFed this if her prose wasn't so damn good. I found it descriptive and captivating and well-paced in the way it flowed from one moment to the next, but not flashy or trying too hard to be profound. I'd be interested to see what she writes next, even though this story wasn't for me.