this had no business being as long as it is, but i suppose when you have a small town as unhinged as story lake is, you inevitably end up dedicating quite a few chapters to the various shenanigans and antics its residents get up to. it's a good thing lucy score did that too, because that was pretty much the only saving grace of this entire book for me (though of course it didn't last nearly long enough to save it entirely).

many of the problems i have with this book are the same as those i'd have with the average heteronormative romance novel (anglophone ones, at least): everyone thinks way too much about sex, it feels like their brains are ruled at least in part by lust, and the man always has to prove his masculinity and devotion to the woman he loves by resorting to physical violence over her. you'll have to forgive me for not finding this caveman-like display attractive, especially when said woman is often subjected to public humiliation as a direct consequence of his actions. i believe that a man should be able to defend his lover in subtler and more elegant ways, rather than simply punching it out like someone who doesn't know how to use his words. 君子动口不动手 / a gentleman uses his words and not his fists and all that. but unfortunately, lucy score believes that campbell getting into fist-fights over another man daring to flirt with hazel is him simply "prov[ing] to [him]self and to story lake that [he] wasn't going to give up without a fight." yikes.

anyway, my main problem with the romance is that it was just boring, which shouldn't have been the case with the premise of their relationship. hazel uproots her entire life and moves to a small town in the middle of nowhere just to base her latest male lead on a random contractor she's never even spoken to once before. campbell, on the other hand, slowly manipulates hazel into agreeing to an actual romantic relationship with him, culminating in him proposing to her minutes after they get back together post-third-act conflict (yes, unfortunately there is in fact one in this book. tragic, i know), via an engagement ring taped to a wedding planning notebook. both of these, on their own, would've been incredibly uncomfortable to read about. put together, they make the perfect combination for a freak4freak story, which i love. unfortunately, they're just not insane enough to pull that off, hence my opinion that their romance was boring. i would've rather read 500 pages of the town's pet bald eagle named goose slapping unsuspecting tourists in the face with fish.

p.s. i was initially going to leave this unrated, but the smut scenes made me change my mind. if i never have to read sentences like "my legs wrapped around his waist like hungry boa constrictors" again it will be too fucking soon.