daydreamday's Book Journey

Absolutely unforgettable. In the Dream House is one of the most powerful memoirs I’ve ever read. Carmen Maria Machado captures the experience of trauma and abuse in a way that’s deeply personal and universally affecting. Her writing is raw, beautiful, and completely unlike anything I’ve come across before.

The structure is brilliant. Instead of a traditional narrative, the book is made up of short, fragmented chapters - each one a snapshot of memory. Together, they build a psychological portrait of an abusive queer relationship. The “dream house” becomes a metaphor for a place that should feel safe but instead becomes a maze of fear, control, and survival.

Machado shows that abuse can be subtle and manipulative but also loud and obvious. The quote that I keep thinking about: “most types of domestic abuse are completely legal”. Just because the abuse isn’t always physical doesn’t mean it’s not valid and just as horrifying. She forces you to look at it from uncomfortable angles, and I found myself thinking about things I’d never considered before. It hit me hard.

There is a lack of representation when it comes to queer abuse. Most conversations around domestic violence still focus only on heterosexual, cisgender relationships. Machado calls out that blind spot, showing how abuse in queer relationships- especially between women or nonbinary partners- is often dismissed or not believed. Culturally, we still tend to associate abusers with men, and the idea of women as perpetrators hasn’t gained meaningful recognition. The idea that harm only “counts” when it fits a certain mold is something this book challenges directly. To me, it’s just another way the world has failed women.

She writes candidly about her fear that naming the abuse might reinforce harmful stereotypes about queer relationships. The tension she describes between telling her own truth and worrying about how it will be weaponized against an already marginalized community is deeply felt. Her willingness to sit with that fear, to acknowledge it openly while still choosing to speak, is both vulnerable and necessary.

This book completely changed me. I added it to the “My Taste” list on my profile. It’s not an easy read, but it’s an essential one. I’ll be thinking about it for a long, long time.

In her haunting, movingly lyrical, and raw memoir, “In the Dream House”, author Machado recounts living in and surviving an abusive queer relationship. By frequently addressing her past self (and in a way, the reader) as "you", she creates an incredibly intimate experience. The storytelling is fragmented—like looking into the past through a broken mirror, shattered to shield oneself from the pain—, each memory recounted in a different narrative style. It is very clear how much thought and care Machado put into writing this memoir; for example, she does not merely recount her own experiences, but looks beyond them and examines how abusive relationships between women were (and are) a puzzling phenomenon for a world in which a woman can only be a victim.

I listened to the audiobook and while the breathy way in which Machado talks (she narrates the book herself) wasn't my absolute favourite in the beginning, I still highly recommend it. Her voice has been narrating my inner monologue since I finished the book; that's how enchanting her tone and distinctive style is.

In her haunting, movingly lyrical, and raw memoir, “In the Dream House”, author Machado recounts living in and surviving an abusive queer relationship. By frequently addressing her past self (and in a way, the reader) as "you", she creates an incredibly intimate experience. The storytelling is fragmented—like looking into the past through a broken mirror, shattered to shield oneself from the pain—, each memory recounted in a different narrative style. It is very clear how much thought and care Machado put into writing this memoir; for example, she does not merely recount her own experiences, but looks beyond them and examines how abusive relationships between women were (and are) a puzzling phenomenon for a world in which a woman can only be a victim.

I listened to the audiobook and while the breathy way in which Machado talks (she narrates the book herself) wasn't my absolute favourite in the beginning, I still highly recommend it. Her voice has been narrating my inner monologue since I finished the book; that's how enchanting her tone and distinctive style is.