but i’m straight though // 直掰弯

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inspiration credit for this list goes to @defne (see these two posts) 🤪

defne

YAYAYAYAYYYYYY 🥹🫶 I LOVE THIS LISTTT and the convo that led up to this is peak 🤭💕

yesss HAHAHA i needed to memorialise my instant conversion of you to the niangzi agenda!!

maomi

exactly 🙂‍↕️ so glad everyone understands the essence of this list

superllaine

im fuckin crying 😭 so many idiots 😭 it's not queerbait if they're just stupid 😭

i would argue that it's straightbait actually. my evidence for that is the number of straight men who got fooled into reading mdzs HAHAHA

superllaine

I WAS THINKING STRAIGHTBAIT TOO AFTER I COMMENTED THIS HAHAHAHA

OUR BRAINS LMAOOO

defne

HOW DID YOU DO THAT SO QUICKLY (HELL YEAH THO)

it helps that i already knew at least 5 books like that 😂

defne

i see you🫵 you’re adding more as we speak🫵 what happened to sleeping🤨 nah jk IM SO IN PLEASE ADD MORE LMAO

LOL i'm going to sleep now!! just wanted to add everything i could remember before i forgot

isild

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Another great list from you! My recommendation will be scum villains self-saving* system!! shen yuan is pretty stubborn in the series 😭

oh RIGHT how did i forget that omg 😭 tyvm!!

“BUT IM (we are, actually) STRAIGHT THO” final boss!!!!!!!!

isild

he was in denial almost till his wedding day, not kidding xd

okay i did not know that??? shen yuan 🤡

literally the worsttt he even thinks “im not really gay, i mean this is the protagonist!! who wouldnt want to be with him?”

HUH???? okay that's a level of denial i never knew was possible

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he also thinks everyone around him is super straight including luo binghe which is hilarious 😭😭😭 but yeah that’s why i nominate this man as the final boss

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shen yuan: yeah no isn't getting married just what your average shizun-and-disciple pair does. no homo

it takes a while but he gets there…. then he’s just so confused and kinda horrified by luo binghe being gay 😭😭😭

HE'S KILLING ME HAHAHAHA "wdym the protagonist of a stallion novel is GAY???? what about him sleeping with a harem of women???" no buddy all that's reserved for YOU now 🤪 enjoy the waist aches!!!

he does in fact say something very similar 😭😭😭 it’s so funny he’s such a clown. also lolol considering the size of the heavenly pillar…… he does have a lot of aches ❤️‍🩹 (thats the literal name he calls binghe’s dick by btw)

heavenly pillar omfg 🤣🤣 isn't lbh supposed to be the worst in bed too out of the three mxtx gongs. good luck shizun 🫡

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😭😭😭😭 poor bingbing is trying his best it’s just that uhhh his best is not that good. he is working on it tho djnsjsnsjsj also apparently one of their sex rules is that he’s not allowed to cry in bed, which is HILARIOUS to me

oh yeah i keep seeing memes about him getting his shizun through nonstop crying LOLLL i can't believe he does it so often shen yuan had to make a rule about it 😂

lmaoooo literally only when he starts crying does he get his man soo also LOL he also cries after the first time (i mean likely time to be crying 💀 he actually hates thinking about it) and sqq is like “why are you crying instead of me?!”

valid question to ask tbh i would also be Very confused HAHAHAHA no wonder he's the worst in bed!!

bdnsjsjjaja you know the guy with the harem isnt rly bad…. but this guy… shizun chasing made him lack some fundamentals

fundamentals as in morals or brain cells? very important question here

CJDNJWJSJDJWJJAIA IM CRYING fundamentals as in skills 😭😭 this man BITES when he kisses

compared to the harem lord he’s got more morals for sure jdkdkskskskkskskak brain cells is 50:50

OH 😂😂 sorry i wasn't thinking that far ahead lmfaoo. also i thought the husky shizunfucker is in a different book? what's with this guy's tendency to bite

JSNDKSNSJSJSJJHDBAHJA ahh that one actually barks ❤️ this guy is just too enthusiastic

starting over from this comment bc the thread got so fucking long i can’t hit the reply button in the app and it’s just turned into a string of letters on the website 💀 anyway wdym that guy BARKS??? look i’m not one to kinkshame but i think he’s taking the dog thing a little too far LMFAO

HELP jdjsjjsjsjs WELL cwn said something like “i’d rather be bit by a dog than [redacted]” so mo ran got all close and barked in his ear…..

and now every time i hear the song “bark like you want it” by sir mix a lot i think of mo ran ❤️

cwn claim ur ~~clown~~ dog pls. can't have him embarrassing you in public like this 💀💀 anyway can't wait to hear gu jiangshan (mo ran's cv) barking on record!!

LOLOL he actually folds after this insane rizz 😭😭 they’re both embarrassing….

in the words of shen zongnian, he's the pot to mo ran's lid ig 💀💀

he’s so funny 😭 sir how are you this repressed

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shen yuan is the king of "IM STRAIGHT!!1!1 NO HOMO" AND DEEP DENIAL 🤣🤣

that description is KILLING ME 🤣😭😭 but also i think u need to see the shou in the novel i'm reading w @superllaine rn bc that guy is also surpassing all the competition

omg 👀👀 that one is I Ship My Adversary x Me right? :oo

yes 😭😭 this clown is shipping himself and his rival together and he still thinks he's iron-straight

🤣🤣🤣 is he also the one on your list of danmei gongs who convince themselves that the shou is into them and hence catch feelings too? 😂

his rival is the gong but yes 🤣🤣 i can't even blame him though?? it really looks like the shou is in love w him from his pov HAHAHAHA

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if you're taking suggestions - i am still early in Qiang Jin Jiu but so far one of the main characters of QJJ insists he's straight and comes up with so many excuses like "take off your clothes but only bc I want to see your fighting stance not bc I lust after you" 🤣🤣🤣 and they really chilled in a hot spring, less than 5 feet apart, with sexual tension 😂😂

KSJXOSKXJXJSKFKKSLS😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 oh ce'an.......

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ce'an always clowning himself he made me laugh so hard 🤣🤣🤣

xcy: constantly making up all sorts of excuses to get lanzhou naked also xcy: I'm doing this bc I'm a true Taoist Sage who is above Worldly Desires and I'm showing how good I am at resisting Temptations of the Mortal Flesh

"Temptations of the Mortal Flesh" 😭😭😭🙈🙈😭🙈🙈🙈😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I LAUGHED SO HARD AT THIS

NO WAY 🤣🤣 okay that's going in immediately TY

Mr “xiao chiye was hard again” being here is killing me

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I nominated him bc he just had to insist "I'm not a cutsleeve" 😭😭😭😭 (not the exact words but he just kept denying it)

lmaoo i dont remember that at all but i believe you 🫡🫡 oh no guess i gotta reread the first (two?) volume(s) now

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it was volume 1, I don't remember exactly what he said and I can't find the part again 😂😭 I just want to clown him

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lmaoooo he gets over it faster than some of these guys then 🙂‍↕️ good for him!

😭🙈😭🙈😭🙈😭🙈😭🙈😭🙈😭

what can i say if the man had a constant boner in lanzhou’s presence 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

wow... slz is just too hot huh. i understand why they got 姜sir to voice him in the audiodrama now

yuppp xiao chiye literally takes a look at his nape and boom insta boner 🙂‍↕️

INSTANT BONER WJSJKAKDKDKFKGMFMV AND HE THINKS HE'S STRAIGHT?????

what a clown 🤧🤡🤧

yes slz is too hot such that even straight men and lesbians were commenting on his attractiveness in-universe 😭😭😂

omg okay 1000/10 casting for him then 🤩🤩 they got the cv version of su daji for the audiodrama and mr. 甜妹 cztk for the audiobook so he DEFINITELY sounds incredibly hot

KSKDWKDIWLJDJDKFKSJDKS

there's no way that's an actual line 😭😂😂😂

it’s verbatim 🫡🫡🫡

holy shit 😂😂 ik why qjj is considered t97's masterpiece now

moski

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another excellent list from rui i’m seated 🪑

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omg you have no idea how glad i am that i made this list now bc i need everyone to know how STUPID these men are 🤣 i've been crying in laughter for two hours now and they're still not letting up HELP

Nekoshka

薄雾 Mist, aka Mist Unlimited. MC is gay and knows it. ML is very very straight. Obviously. What do you mean he has feelings for another man? No, nope, nothing to see here.