I’m not really looking for sympathy, I just don’t have many people I can talk to about this, so I figured I’d ask here. Any of my married romance girlies have a partner who holds your reading habits over your head? 😂

Like this man will genuinely tell me I have “unrealistic expectations” because I want basic communication and empathy. His argument is always that I read too many romance books and that real life and love don’t work like that. And listen… I know I disappear into my books. Guilty. 💀 But using fictional men as a defense for not communicating is actually so embarrassing. The only time he even hears about these book boyfriends is when I’m gossiping with my friends.

Anyway… it’s honestly become one of the biggest icks in my marriage.

I’m not looking for relationship advice or anything. I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, because sometimes it feels weirdly isolating.

Brought to you by my misophonia and the landscapers outside of my complex weedwhacking and such (they're just doing their job, not their fault!). I have a hard time with noise interference and intense noise like this keeps me from focusing on anything. I can't close the window because it's too hot, and where I am there is no AC. I'm thinking some noise canceling headphones and background music would be a good remedy for my current situation.

Another big one for me is anxiety and residual stress from work. A lot of times I can't focus on reading because my brain is too worried about work crap or whatever is weighing on me. Sometimes a ten minute meditation helps, other times my brain goes right back into overdrive after meditating.

The worst, though, is depression. I want to read but I'm spiraling and I feel like I don't deserve the joy that reading brings me for who knows what reason. Sometimes I can stop the self shaming, but others it's a real struggle.

Can anyone relate? Or is there any advice you can offer to those of us having difficulties at times?

does anyone else go back to reread your own reviews just for fun?? cause i go read mine so often like im reading some article and it's sooo entertaining 🤪 im like ohh cute review ! and i don't even put that much effort into them tbh, but i love reading what past me had to say about a book 🙂‍↕️🌷 do you do that too??

I ask because I've been seeing different definitions lately.

To me, Romantasy has meant "romantic fantasy," where there is a significant romantic subplot but the fantasy aspect is dominant and no HEA is necessarily expected. Contrariwise, I see "fantasy romance" as being romance-dominant in a fantasy setting, with the usual HEA expectation.

I've seen many others use it as I do, above, but lately have also seen people using Romantasy and "fantasy romance" interchangeably as primarily Romance.

What do all of you think when you see "Romantasy." Does it mean to you that it is primarily a Fantasy or a Romance?

EDIT:

Hey, cats...thanks for all of the responses. Looks like my definition is in the minority, which is consistent with what I saw on other social media (though there seems to be enough disagreement that I can see why there is sometimes confusion in discussions around Romantasy). Much appreciated!

Please give me a romance that will completely ruin my life.

I want soul-crushing yearning. I want unbearable tension. I want stolen glances, ridiculous chemistry, butterflies, pining, "I'd choose you in every lifetime," "I'd burn the world down for you," and the kind of love that makes me stare at the ceiling when I finish the book.

I want to giggle, kick my feet, cry, scream, and question my standards. Destroy me emotionally, then put me back together with a happy ending (preferably). Romance first, spice second, but when the spice gets there, I want it ALL.

Any trope. Any setting. Easy to read. I just need the feelings to hit.

Please ruin my life. Thank you. 💔