"The moment when you woke up on that couch - before you remembered the phone, remembered your entire life - was one of the sweetest from that year. That tiny pocket of safety and oblivion"

this absolutely broke my heart. what a powerful memoir about being in an abusive relationship. it has the ability to paint out the terrible moments the author has been through, making it so easy to feel her emotions as the reader. I understood the complexity of being abused by someone you love, and why it's so hard to leave or tell others about it. it's good, it's bad, but then it's good again, and it's so much easier to forget the bad things that happened than to confront them.

the way Machado manages to mix style, genre, narrator and linearity is impressive and is a refreshing take on the genre. sometimes it felt more like a psychological thriller, which Machado also hints at in the naming of chapters, because living in an abusive relationship is real life psychological torture.

Machado underlines the importance of understanding how abuse can happen in queer relationships as well - a point she proves through quotes from film, literature, non-fiction and other real life sources. she mixes her own story of abuse with similar stories and draws parallels to other works of fiction, emphasizing how the justice system have historically (and presently) let down victims of abuse because of their queerness. not only did I learn about Machado's story, I learned so much about queer history and especially this aspect that hasn't got a lot of representation.

I can only recommend it.