Hot Under the Collar
We all know what kind of freakishness those too-tight collars are really holding in, the depths of depravity lurking underneath those flowing robes. These books prove our theories, with enough extra creativity to make us blush and sweat.
Clergy capers, nun naughtiness, pegged priests, creative uses of crucifixes, sanctimonious smut.
Not limited to Catholic blasphemy.
created by acloudofbats
last updated August, 2026
Comments
You know what pissing me off? I went to a catholic school and there were no hot priests. 😤
This list deserves all the church cookies. A++
See that's the actual blasphemy. If you're gonna be subjected to Catholic school, it should be mandatory that all priests and nuns at the VERY least be smokin' hot.
RIGHT?! It was already terrible they put us in skirts and made us wore ties, AT LEAST GIVE ME SOMETHING PRETTY TO LOOK AT!
I'm sorry, Pounded by Produce is actually about vegetable priests?! Incredible. 
I'm so glad my smutty list is what enlightened you. 🥒🍅
My local bookstore had it displayed for a while but I always assumed it was like a Veggie Tales thing. Wait... wait that show is about the Bible, isn't it? Ohhh, I'm having a brain moment. Thank you for this enlightenment, yes. 🙂↕️🥒
It is Veggie Tales smut! lmao
Is there a quest like this one but for nuns???
And whether it exists already or someone is now inspired, I expect a “habit” pun.
Not that I'm aware of! But there's no telling what people will make in the future. 😈
you made this list for me, didn’t you?
It's definitely a response to your Father Figure list. I had a shelf of some of these books waiting to find friends too.😈
Dirty Priest by Samantha Barrett 😋
Added, thank you!
Got a couple delicious recs! 🙏🏾 • He Who Bleeds by Dorian Valentine • Defiled by Jade Lane & Em Jay
Added both of these, thank you! That cover for He Who Bleeds is tempting me.
The cover is delectable and makes the book’s innards even hotter 🥵
hehehe innards. I dunno why that tickled me in this context.
may i recommend Platinum Blood by Mor Ichigaya? priest x vampire! 👀🫦👀
You know I'm so excited to get to that one. 👀👀👀
it’s so good! i hope you love it! 🩷
Wait? Daggerbound? It’s not even out yet. Kingfisher isn’t normally smutty. Is this on here by accident?
No, it's meant to be on here. All her fantasy romance books in the World of the White Rat have some open door scenes in them and Daggerbound is in that world and includes the monk mmc from the Clockwork Boys duology.
Oooo really!?!? I just started reading Swordheart so I wasn’t expecting any smut. But now I’m excited!
I really recommend you read Clockwork Boys and The Wonder Engine before getting to Daggerbound! Her fantasy romance books are slow burn with lots of tension and yearning so any smut is usually near the end, but it's such a fun time getting to it, AND the entirety of the books are good all the way through anyway.
Daggerbound is mm and one of the mmcs is Learned Edmund, the same monk mmc who's in the books mentioned above, which is why I rec them first. He has a pretty fun character arc in those books and you get to know him really well before seeing him get his own love story.
Amazing!! Thanks for the rec! I shall definitely listen!
