This is my 4th Emezi book, and I have to say, they have me in a chokehold. I don’t know how Emezi can write a story that includes a taboo I typically try to stay away from (which I can’t disclose because it would be a major spoiler), and pull me in so completely. It might be a fight to the finish with T. Kingfisher for ‘most read author’ by the end of this year, but I can’t tell you how little that bothers me. God, it feels good to read fantastic authors.

This story takes place in Nigeria and is multi-POV with the bulk of the story being told through the eyes of a character named Osita. Cousin to Vivek, they grow up together and eventually, Osita holds Vivek’s biggest secrets. There are others, friends who come to cherish Vivek for who he wants to be, and they form their own little bubble. We get snippets not only from this close group, but from Vivek and Osita’s parents too, as they try to understand Vivek, and in the wake of his death, try to come to terms with who their son really was. All throughout the story, everyone is trying to put together the pieces of how Vivek died.

I would say it probably took me somewhere between 50-80 pages to be pulled so far in that I didn’t want to put the book down, but once I hit about page 80, I read the rest of the book straight through. Vivek was written with such care, it was almost like I could feel the love Emezi was trying to pour into the character. The journey we went on with Vivek was sometimes so heartbreaking, but we know there were moments of joy. I wish we’d gotten more of that. I like to witness, not be told after the fact, and emotionally, I think it would have given me more to connect with near the end of the story had we seen some of the joyful moments throughout the story, rather than have them described through photographs.

In the plot summary, Vivek is said to go through periods of blackouts, and that does happen, but then it’s just..over. It’s briefly, 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑓𝑙𝑦 brought up again, but there was so much focus on them at the start of the book, it felt like either they’d be a big part of the overall story, or we might slip into a little bit of magical realism. Neither of those things turned out to be true.

I felt the range of emotions, from the protectiveness of the people Vivek chose to be with, to the ignorance of parents, the coming to terms, and the absolute devastation of realizing you weren’t there for your child. Vivek’s mother was possibly my favorite ‘B’ character; she felt human and conflicted, caught up for a moment in the stigmas of society, but ultimately filled with love.

Then there’s the taboo aspect, and it’s not up to me to decide what two 100% consenting adults do. But I can say that aspect was the least important part of my reading journey. If you know what it is, and that’s the only thing keeping you from reading the book, I think you should try anyway. The worst case scenario is having to DNF, but if you do take a chance, I think you’ll find it’s a beautifully devastating story of someone simply wanting to live authentically.

“𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑 𝑔𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑢𝑠 𝑛𝑜 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛.”