Loretta Ross, oh how you spoke to me. An essential guide and reminder to anyone who deems themself caring or a part of community growth and radical, transformative justice

it's tricky how to review this book. it's not preachy, but not gentle. it's direct in its purpose, with kindness and lessons that are digestible and applicable. it's when the righteous rage just doesn't feel welcome, or useful, and the feeling that something else has got to happen for us to be and make the change we desire. when choosing the moral-high-ground, or becoming a keyboard warrior gets us nowhere. whether in a digital space or in our one-on-one personable relationships, Ross provides a rejuvenating recollection of her own moments of choosing when to call out vs. when to call in through her activism journey. yet, through that guiding path, she also gives key moments for others to learn when and how to do either, and the necessary reflection we as activists, as community members, as people have to evaluate each scenario in its singularity and also keeping the bigger, radical picture in mind

what i'm stunned with is how comforting and eye-opening this book is. if you engage in any activism, the internet and some, if not many, of our personal relationships are fraught with tension, pain, and either mis-to-zero communication. Ross doesn't lead you, but walks beside you as you read; giving space for our own internal evaluation of the times we've called out others or have been called out ourselves. what did that do for us? and what did that do to us? and the biggest question of all: where does that leave us moving forward?

we can sit here all day and identify rage bait and leftist/liberal circlejerks (credit to a pb user for this phrase), but what i'm reminded of is just how depleted and angry i feel in any shape or form afterwards. Calling In gives a new face and perspective with a similar like-minded book, Let This Radicalize You by Kelly Hayes and Mariame Kaba, that our activism should bring JOY to our work. joy doesn't negate pain and discomfort — Ross uses examples of her own experience as a child of incest and SA, and her career working with abusers — but at the end of our day, we must care more about the space we create and invite others into than doubling down on our own sense of self-assured justice, furthering the divide that gets us nowhere

it's important to note that Ross doesn't sugarcoat or rose-colored glasses that calling in is easy or always an option. but the community we want and the community we build should matter more than always being "right" or "pure" to get there. our community must be created by choice, and part of that is choosing to let people in; choosing to let people make mistakes and to learn; choosing to hold forgiveness and accountability together; choosing each other for the future we want

There was no answer, only wondrous and inexplicable grace, and the only thing to do in return was simply to live.

I've sat on this for a bit and my only conclusion is to review this book into separate parts.

What the book was marketed as:

Katabasis has many strengths. For those familiar with the intellectual thrill and unflinching vice academia can hold you in, I think much of this felt like a weirdly comforting hug of feeling seen, of saying the quiet parts out loud, and an almost ghost-like tingle down you spine. This is a story with many layers of why we would go to Hell and back, and what we may learn about ourselves along the way. Even with the references to mythology, math, or other technical works, the overall story is easy to follow, but interest and desire is a must to want to continue reading. I think the work Kuang put into creating Hell, it's purpose, changing the different courts, references and the combination to other religions of Hell, and most importantly which parts of Hell to explain, but the choice to leave things open to interpretation was a favorite of mine.

Katabasis has many weaknesses. I've seen many critiques that while RF Kuang is a great writer, she is not a great storyteller, and for this I step-back and agree. The pacing broadly is inconsistent and allows the reader too much time to think, "What is this for?". Some say there are characterization inconsistencies, though I would argue that Alice is consistent but also consistent in her inconsistencies (which sounds stupid, but she is themed after Alice in Wonderland). Either way, with it being a character-driven story, having solid, tangible characters is a must and I don't feel RF Kuang sold that enough for majority of readers. Most importantly, while I enjoyed it for the purpose of religion and Hell, others critique the over-indulgent explanation on one subject matter vs. the little to lack thereof on other parts, and this did affect how engrossed or not my mind stayed in the story.

What this book read as to me: (SPOILERS + INFO FROM BOOK TOUR) * * * * * * * * * * * Though my rating is related to my review above, I can't help but share my actual thoughts about the story that is definitely my own interpretation but heavily influenced my reading experience.

I would argue that Katabasis is a version of Kuang's descent, deterioration, reflection, and healing into her own personal hell after almost losing her husband to an unknown illness. Being newly married, starting a new education program, in a new city, etc., this joy for new life and new beginnings to suddenly feeling lost, alone, and fearful... I read so much of that actual story in Katabasis. This almost self-destructive and hyper-fixated behavior to be right, to be the best, to be the one who fixes things alone. To avoid reflection and the inner quiet of your mind because if you are reminded of the sadness, the horror, the fear, you may never pull yourself out. The mental health was striking, and less about academia and so much more related to the harm we do to those we love and ourselves, even unintentionally. The self-isolation, the lack of ownership to mistakes, and the fear of vulnerability and accountability for our actions. Hell was created for Kuang to figure out how to find a reason to what was happening, a reflection of mistakes she made, and the choice/sacrifice to find love in the unknown and uncontrollable. THIS story was actually 4.5 stars for me. This perspective, this lens allowed me to read a completely different book than what was marketed, and I was able to enjoy it more because it of it. Does that mean it's perfect? Absolutely not, I'm sure the writer vs. storyteller critique would still fit within this context, but the story I read (in between the lines if you will) was heartbreaking as it was beautiful and it worked for me. This was a love story, but a very personal and vulnerable one. Not just between RF Kuang and her husband, but also between her current and past self.

One quote from the book: Peter Murdoch was a book with no ending and all she wanted to do with the rest of her life was to trace her finger down every page.

One quote from book tour: What is love if not a sacrifice—where and how do you feel it?

how do i file for compensation for falling in love with a blonde man