Romancing the Inanimate
Proof that romance novels are for everyone...even your furniture? DISCLAIMER: These are not for the weak of heart and are usually pretty spicy... and very strange.
created by chelssicle
last updated December, 2025
Comments
This list is like a fever dream. Good and bad dreams. 😂
They are, at minimum, entertaining lolll
i'm dead 😂😭 I had no idea books like this existed lmao
The titles alone crack me up
this list makes me think of a tweet i received yesterday: "Women are horny in a sort of crushing incomprehensible horrific way that understandably men shy away from even attempting to come to grips with. Cosmically horny, if you will." (complimentary) 🙂↕️
When men aren't enough we have to go to the inanimate objects
The job will get done one way or another! 💪🏽
Women have better imaginations
JD Vance would love this list
Love that it's not the first time he's been brought up
Oh my gosh, I have to send this list to my cousin she has a group chat for the sole purpose of finding books like this (not my taste but it’s definitely the group chats). Thank you 🙏 💖
The game Date Everything, but in book form? Sign me up! These would just be fun to try I think, probably really funny
They are not to be taken seriously lol But fun to read
I LOOOVE date everything! I had the same thought!
Literally was coming here to comment about Date Everything! My friends and I were JUST comparing our favorite characters to each other 😂
i feel like you and grapie on tiktok would be besties LMAO
I have a friend that reads them all and narrates them to us in a group chat because I don't think I could get through them but some how this makes it so much funnier?
I've never been so jealous of a group chat? Y'all take applications to join? Or?
LMAOOOO that sounds so fun. there's a podcast that reads them called "Say Smut?" i think these books are the best
That's SO funny I'll have to look it up
I came to this list thinking I wouldn’t have read any but I’ve read several and am now side eying myself 😂
I have a couple from here 😂
Idk if it counts by Cold Sweat by Vera Valentine is about the Kool-Aid Man 😏
I forgot about that one!
THE KOOL-AID MAN?? 🫢🫣
do you know the Kool-Aid man??? who lives on cherry lane?? In this book his name is Red and he’s a sentient pitcher of Cherry Chill Assist Punch 😏
The flavor name is incredibly specific 😂
Proud of you
I saw Bubble Tea and I clicked and what did my Eleven eyes just witness
Have fuuuuuun!
Really gotta add some Chuck Tingle, right?! (Also, this reminds me of the video game Date Everything)
I badly need to get that game! It's been on my wishlist for a while lol
My roommate and I beat it in July, and we had WAY too much fun. Highly recommend.
I love that there are multipe 5 star books in this list! The people know what they want🙂↕️
Listen, if the men can't do it for us might as well turn to objects
Okay I just finished unhinged last night but I didn't find it weird enough, what would be your next suggestion? I don't scare easily so don't be afraid to recommend wild shit lol. I also had no idea there were SO many books like this and I'm here for it.
Try Squeak next and let us know how that goes!
I like how the very first one is: The deviled egg made me do it
That mischievous grin is killing me
SEDUCED BY THE PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE
I cant deal lmao
My Robo Gyno and Pounded in the butt by my own butt are definitely book titles
I have so many questions. Do I want answers is the question ... And I think the answer to that is no 🫣
