"There's a feeling I sometimes get around Fred and my friends, like I'm an observer rather than a participant, where I recede inches into myself, from human to husk. There are so many things I could blame it on, but when it happens it feels like there are gaps in the circuit board, absent connections in my brain. Did I skip a chapter of child development? Am I just really fucking weird? It's never like this when it's one-on-one; I just get swallowed up in groups a bit."

I find myself relating to Vincent a bit. Not in relation to his confusion about trans people and his feelings towards them, but to some of his other thoughts, like this for example. I could never quite put into words my frustration whenever I interact in friend groups, but this encapsulates it so well. I feel like something is wrong with me sometimes because, as Vincent says, I'm fine talking to people one-on-one, but in group settings? I tend to take a backseat and become a listener rather than a participant as he mentions too. I'm constantly afraid that I won't be heard, that I'll be third-wheeled (or fourth, fifth, etc.), that no one will address me directly out of everyone present, that I'll have to fight through the conversation for recognition. It's gotten to a point where I've given up on friend groups. I just prefer to hang out with my friends individually because I know these thoughts that Vincent echoes won't come to mind. As much as I don't want to relate to Vincent because he's problematic in his own ways, I can't help but feel so seen by this passage.

For the past week, Pagebound Royalty members have submitted nominations for Lists to inspire Quests. Jennifer and I have gone through and ensured all the Lists you'll be voting on meet our Quest guidelines. There are 95 Lists eligible for you to vote on, and you can find them in this spreadsheet.

There will be 3 winning Lists selected. You can vote for up to 3 unique lists (across any genre). Submit your votes via this form through end of day June 30th. Take note of the Quest type when voting (Column C in the spreadsheet)! Many nominated Lists share a theme but vary in length. Preference for a Side vs Main Quest could help you decide which to vote for. Most Lists will be Side Quests, but Lists with many books (~60+) will be Main Quests.

The creators of the winning Lists will be able to accept/reject. If they accept, we will create a Quest inspired by their List, adapting the title & book list as necessary to fit Quest constraints. If they decline, we'll ask the runner-up!

Thanks for voting! Jennifer & Lucy

"I can see Vincent's jaw struggling with a White Rabbit as he listens. They're extremely chewy. I'm chewing one, too, just so I can dissociate. My teeth knead it like dough, and it sticks and imprints onto my molars, releasing dribbles of milky sweetness that climb up my enamel, gums, and tongue."

Has anybody else had one of these White Rabbit candies before??? I got to try one earlier this year and they're amazing. Dinan perfectly captures how they taste and what their texture is like here. Now I want one again 😂

On Pillowfort, folks in the Bookworms community do WWW Wednesday every week. The Ws stand for three questions:

What are you currently reading?

What have you recently finished reading?

What will you be reading next?

Share your own WWW Wednesday, see what others have to say, and have some fun!

(It's also a great way to find new friends with similar reading taste to yours!)

I'm wondering how many quest badges the person with the most quest badges has. Is there a leader board? Am I thinking too competitively 😅? How many badges do YOU have? I currently have 23 (counting my level badge and read-alongs) .

I quite enjoy learning new words. I like words that can be fun to say, and I like words with deep meanings as well.

Sonder - the profound realization that every random stranger is living a life as vivid, complex, and central to them as your own is to you.

Grotesque - describes something that is unnaturally odd, bizarre, or hideously distorted in shape or appearance.

Petrichor - pleasant, earthy, and fresh scent that fills the air when rain falls on dry soil.

Fracas - A noisy quarrel. A brawl.

Fiddle-faddle - Trivial matters.

I have a bunch of other words that I enjoy, but these were the ones I could think of right now. Are there any words that you like? Words that may be difficult to understand or words you just like saying? Words that you wish would be used more?