Poor little meow meows (sci-fi & fantasy edition)
Urgently seeking suggestions, any and all input is welcome! A list for men in sci-fi/fantasy who are pathetic, reminiscent of kicked dogs, described as poor little meow meows, drowning in their own emptiness, and/or generally have an intense aura of being a sad loser with no life. Having a capacity to be fixed is entirely optional. If you want to demonstrate why a man is a loser, feel free to do so at great length in the comments so that we all may further our studies in male patheticology.
created by ayzrules
last updated December, 2025
Comments
I think Howl’s Moving Castle would fit nicely here -- I will cite specifically Howl’s hair tantrum scene where he somewhat dramatically yells “Despair! Anguish! Horror!”
Definitely seconding this one
MY MEOW MEOW 🥰 He's such a loser 🤩
ayzrulesOP
omg that is PERFECTION, thank you so much
Can I recommend Ouyang from The Radiant Emperor Duology?
can you? you must
Ah!! Seconding! Competent in battle but a tragic meow meow when it comes to matters of the heart
ayzrulesOP
this just makes me want to read it even more! added!
god i love losers
Omg what like character trope would ur partner be? Feel free to exaggerate or not up to u!!!
ayzrulesOP
They're genuinely so funny, i love a man who is here to be sad and pathetic for my entertainment specifically
Yes, Ayz!! May I offer The Devils by Joe Abercrombie? 3 out of the 4 main males are very pathetic 😂
Brother Diaz is definitely a pathetic little meow meow!
Yes! Balthazar is just a loser in general 😂. Jakob, while impressive at first, is so pathetic when battle starts and whenever he complains about his old man body
ayzrulesOP
yessssssssssssss love to see it! added!
Since you are looking for suggestions: Assassin’s Apprentice for SURE. Poor Fitz
Art of Prophecy also would fall under this. Spoiled kid being picked for a prophecy that eventually doesn’t get fulfilled
came to comment my love FitzChivalry - he bathes in self-pity every morning.
The blue print
you could honestly add every single Fitz book from RotE on here because it does not get any better
ayzrulesOP
Thank you, i've added them! both of these guys sound like peak loser material, i'm sat
When Among Crows by Veronica Roth would fit here, Dymitr is definitely a sad, tortured man
ayzrulesOP
Oooh thank you! added!
ayzrulesOP
since i believe in gender equality, i’ve posted a gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss list to go along with this one, for terrible women doing terrible things. again, i want everyone to know that i believe in gender equality so it’s of utmost importance that i announce this, because feminism
(also i don’t have enough characters to fit this link into the list description)
Arthur from Gifted & Talented by Olivie Blake thrives on being pathetic 🙂↕️
ayzrulesOP
Nice nice, added! 🙂↕️ 🙂↕️
I wanted to suggest him but I was like I should probably read more of the book before I go calling him pathetic. But two of his chapters in and he set my pathetic man alarms off immediately.
oh he is the kind of meow meow that makes it his entire personality
Oh fantastic I like him even more
ayzrulesOP
the brandana meter
You put a man with wet eyes near me and I start crackling like a geiger counter
ayzrulesOP
I'll be sure to let you know if anyone else in the edgy dudebro book gets wetter eyes, so far they're pathetic on the DL but experienced haters and connoisseurs (me) are able to clock the core patheticism
Quicksilver with Kingfisher.... I said what I said
lmao I love this list and the books included
ayzrulesOP
I greatly appreciate your support and enthusiasm for my studies of male patheticism 🙂↕️ (lmaooo thank you!)
Oh!!! Several people have described Nic Miles from my fantasy novella The Awakening of Lora Abernathy as "God's wettest little meow meow, straight outta the cardboard box"! 😂😂
Dracula ? I've read it a while ago so I'm not sure if it fits but I remember Harker being kind of a dumb dumb
i trust your take, added!
He's my dumb dumb 🥺
Obviously dumb dumb was meant as a compliment in this instance 😬😬
Don't worry I took it as a compliment
Not me thinking this was ‘books with a featured pet cat’ and running up to see which ones there were in addition to my sweet bb broccoli 🥦 😹
Okay, new list idea, poor little meow meow, pet cat edition 🐱
ayzrulesOP
well now someone has got to make an add-on list which includes pet cats instead! broccoli deserves some friends!
i’ll come back when i’ve finished the book i’m currently reading 🙈🙈🙈 ML seems like a really great contender for this list of patheiticism lol
are you talking about Wuthering Heights? 👀
edit: wait it's not fantasy nvm 😂 but i do think Heathcliff would fit this vibe
HAHAHA yes heathcliff’s quite pathetic and if WH were a fantasy i would definitely add it to this list 😜
He is most pathetic and woeful
ayzrulesOP
thank you for your assistance on this very vital and essential matter!
i love this list, but i fear i can only take so much male patheticism before i just never look in the direction of another man again (maybe this is a good thing??) lmao
Cardan from Holly Blacks The Cruel Prince The Folk of the Air Series gives me serious meow meow vibes. I do think he bucked up in the end / had his moments of non-meowness so I wonder if others would agree or disagree with me putting him forward for this list 😄
ayzrulesOP
lmaooo he sounds eligible either way! added!
I agree that he was pathetic meow meow initially!! But yes he does buck up a bit. But keeps some meow meow
Midnight Ruin by Katee Roberts. The ex boyfriend is completely pathetic, and the fmc makes him crawl on the floor like a dog 😌
ayzrulesOP
okayyyyyyyyyyyy i love men crawling.... i'm sat for this book, i must go look it up. added!
Ayz if you open this to sci fi can I please suggest my boy Elijah Baley from The Caves of Steel? He swoons every time he goes outside bc outside is too big for him.
ayzrulesOP
Brandana Danderson #1 author i am adding it now, in exchange for recognition of sci fi meow meows please use your clout to advertise my dark fairy romance so I can get the booktok bag
Of course of course 🫡
(Also as an update for people generally, I’m including sci fi now lol) (I need more titles for sci fi loser men pls suggest any that come to mind)
I have an nonfiction recommendation: an author who, because he wasn’t labeled gifted, decided to write a book about how to redefine intelligence. But all he does is whine about how he wasn’t identified as gifted. The book is filled with his envy and anger. There’s little science in it. It’s Ungifted by Scott Barry Kaufman. On second thought, don’t include it. It’s not a fun or even interesting read.
ayzrulesOP
💀💀💀 gotta love when men are Like That lmao I’m only including books that have fantastical elements on this list, but thanks for the note either way - I’ll have to hate read some reviews about it later LOL
Okay not my poor little meow meow but you should add A Darker Shade of Magic because Holland is 1000% VE Schwab’s personal poor little meow meow, it’s so obvious he’s her favorite & she tortures him relentlessly
ayzrulesOP
that is what i like to SEE. added!
ACOTAR lol Tamlin
Absolutely correct, thank you (I’ve only read 25% of this book but the line “Your skills with females have definitely become rusty in recent decades.” Said by Lucien to Tamlin will never leave my head for as long as I am alive)
I love Lucien so much lol
